Broken
I was in a relationship for 10 years. Things were great until one day he says he needs space. Arguments after arguments of trying to make it work, he broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. He seemed to have moved on pretty fast. He keeps hanging out with girls, saying he’s living the bachelor life. But when he broke up with me he said he wasn't breaking up to look for something new. It’s been 10 years and it feels like none of this is affecting him. He has me blocked off of every social media even texting and only reaches out when he needs something. He even says that who knows what the future holds and we may end up together again. We’ve only hung out a few times since then trying to remain friends. I’m in so much pain and it just seems he’s living his life not caring about anything. Did he do this because he wants to experience being single? Why does he not care… I feel so broken I cry all the time.. it’s so hard to move on and be ok.. I don’t know what to do. How does 10 years not affect someone. Seeing him do whatever he wants and being single and trying to like hurt me with what he’s doing is really breaking me. And he tells me I’ve ran out of chances to fix things. Will I ever get another chance…
I was in a similar situation about 3-4 years ago when my ex decided to date other people 2 weeks after we broke up for the 2nd time. To my horror, I found out it was someone close to my heart. I went through therapy and tried to understand why he started dating people when we have a connection of 10 years together. Honestly, I came to the realization that he was in much pain as I was and the only way to suppress that pain was to go out partying, getting drunk, and finding someone to overcome my absence in his life. In a way, yes, he was experiencing the single life, but really, he was trying to cope in a different way to get over me.
Honestly, it was never good for me to keep in contact with him because I ended up obsessing over about what he was doing and kept making myself suffer and feel hurt every day. I don’t get to focus on me. That is what you need to do for yourself. Break all contact with him. Focus on you, not him. Find what makes you happy without him. It will be a hard battle because we loved deeply and can’t forget the good times. Take your time to grieve over the loss of the relationship because it didn’t work out. It’s the end of that relationship.
What helped me was going to YouTube and watched Love Advice TV channel if you’re really sure you want to get back with your ex. There are videos and articles on their website to help you cope and understand your situation. If anything, you can book a session with a therapist or with relationship coaches to help you navigate where you want to be. Sometimes along your journey, you may realize that you don’t need/want your ex. Maybe there’s someone out there better for you.
It’s a tough process. You’re not alone in this. I’m going through it again for the 3rd time with the same person. I’m going through my own process that I have learned, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel the hurt or the desire to be with him again. It’s difficult, but we can overcome it in time and do things that help us grow.