Brokenhearted? We're here for you!
Heartbreaks are always there as they are a part of life. It doesn't make it hurt any less so here's some support for people with a broken heart 
Use these three simple rules:
1) Lean into your friends, family, and people who love you.
2) Be ACTIVE. When my heart was broken, I started swimming, running and doing yoga. It felt amazing to know that my body was still capable of moving, functioning, and remaining strong. I loved savoring each stroke and step. I
@anchoredwithhope what if friends are not available?
@smilelychee you can always post on a forum like this and find people that care and know what you're feeling ~ 
I'm going through a hard breakup right now. We were together for 8 years. We went to each other proms and we saw each other graduate from college. I admit, we were a little bit on and off, but it was because we were scared of how sure we were of each other because we're both still in our early 20s. We were scared of the "what ifs". What if we were so comfortable with each other that we were missing out on other people, so that's why we were so on and off. Technically we were "off" at the time, but we never stopped acting like we were a couple and still told each other that we loved each other. But he recently developed feelings for someone new and he told me that he's never liked someone this way since he liked me. Because of this we had to completely stop everything since he's pursuing things with this girl. It just hurts because we thought we were going to get married. I can't let go because I still have this part of me that hopes he'll realize he's making a mistake. He even admits that if he could stop feeling these things for this girl he would and that he really doesn't know what's happening because he never expected this. Anyway, it looks like he'll be asking this girl to be his girlfriend soon and I just can't get past that the guy I thought I was going to get married to has moved on. It sucks because he's still one of my best friends and I want to remain best friends, but it's hard when I still love him so much and want him back with me.
@himishl I am in a very similar boat.
@himishl~ im sorry this must be so difficult for you... i do understand how hard it can be to be friends with someone you love.. do you think it might help a little to talk to one of our listeners 1-on-1? please know that we're here for you
@himishl i know it must be hard. Went through a similar thing myself. We are all here for you.
My ex came back from the army and he is only here for 12days he wanted to see me so we hung out this weekend when we hung out the one night he was drunk and told me he just wants to make me happy and I was so happy to hear this because I would like to start over with him so the next day I messaged him saying I would like to talk to you but it must be face to face and he is just ignoring me now and its terrible because he made me the happiest and I know we would still be together if he wasn't always gone
@Saintlouis89~ im sorry that must be so frustrating and confusing for you... do you think it might help a bit if you talked to one of the listeners 1-on-1? know that we're here for you
So the short story is: he's cheated on me multiple times, one of the most recent times was with my best friend. He keeps promising he changed but I know it's a sack of shit.I keep giving him chances because I get so lonely, the voices in my head start talking again and I fall to really dark places, so I take him back because it's not all bad when we're together. He spoils me rotten, gives me as much attention as a girl could ever want and I do my best to return it to him. But I get these bad mood swings and after start of our relationship I wouldn't mean to virus flip on him for no reason, so I started to just put my phone down until I felt better (I did this so I wouldn't be yelling at him and putting him down). During the summer it was worse because I'd be cooped up in the house with no where to go (I live on a back road in the middle if nowhere) so I'd get agitated easily. He knew I'd put my phone down and not text him so I didn't hurt him. But he felt like I was ignoring him. We'd hang out often, when ever we did we'd go thru each others phones bc we were bored and thought it'd be fun. But every time I looked at his he was talking to other girls. Telling them "how incredibly attractive" they were or he'd sexy them. He was talking to this one girl Sydney. I told him I didn't want him talking to her because that's how it started out every time he cheated me. even tho she lives in another state he still could've cheated with her. (That's how it happens one time before, lots of flirting and sexting and calling her "baby girl" and "sexy" and all that). Needless to say we had a huge fight. He asked how could make me believe he really loved me. I told him to not talk to her and I'd believe him. Few weeks later I checked his phone and he had her under 'princess'.I lost it. He tried apologizing and he said to me "I really do, I really do love u Sydney". If I had a gun at that moment, my life would've been over.
I just feel like it's never going to get better...he was my entire world we did everything together..now I have no one and every single weekend I used to spent with him I now find myself sitting at home, lonely and wanting him there with me. I'm depressed and nothing is helping me.
I can't imagine what you're going through, as everyone's experience of a break up is different. My heart honestly goes out to you!
I'm currently dealing with a break up myself, I got dumped nearly a week and a half ago (two days after I came back from a family holiday). Dealing with so many emotions as well as my depression can get tiring, but I am getting better slowly. Can't think of how I'm going to deal with the presents I got for him on my holiday, got him 4 bags of sweets, a m&ms Star Wars magnet, two post cards and two key chains. Nothing exciting but I thought it was thoughtful before he dumped me not long after getting home.
After getting broken up with, and even just left without being given a real chance over and over and over I don't know how I'm supposed to ever open up to anyone that way again. How can I trust them when they all say the same thing. How many times can you hear " I promise I won't hurt you." Or "that is awful of that ex to do that to you I never would." Or even" I love you" " trust me" and still believe it? Not one of them means it and I'm a fool every single time to believe it. It's even worse when you even tell them "you say that but so did every jerk to break my heart before you" and the best they have to say is " they aren't me" and then a month later they do the same thing. Every single one is a liar and I don't think I will ever be able to trust someone again.
My husband of 9 years just left me for a mutual friend and they live next door basically now!
My ex left me for a long distance relationship. We have been dating for 7 years. I feel like I'm nothing. And I need a hug
My ex had been suffering from depression, eventually things became too much and she broke up with me. We both made mistakes and probably both wish we could have done something differently, I know I do.
after the breakup I found she was addicted to painkillers as an escape from her mind. She had hidden this from me so in a way the breakup was needed so this could finally come out. She tried to overdose but I helped her through and she told me she still loved me that night. A week after she told me she owed it to herself to get clean and couldn't think about relationships or getting back together in the mean time.
over the next month she blew hot and cold, told me she missed me then would block me randomly only to unblock me soon after. At the end of the month she told me she'd been seeing someone else and had been for a little while. This crushed me.
I don't know if it's a rebound, but for some reason I hope it is. She's either dealt with drugs and depression really quickly and moved on or she's blocking out all that stuff and trying to take her mind off it with this new guy which seems more likely.
It makes little to no sense to me why after all of this I still love her but I know for certain I do. And I know that at one point she loved me too. To be honest I've tried to move on but nobody compares. I feel like I'm stuck back in limbo not knowing if she'll ever come back or if that's us finished for good. I'm broken inside
@Ross71
Take care of yourself, I highly recommend Alanon. This will help with you understanding her addiction and relate to others that have had honestly exactly the same things happen. It will also help you to define healthy boundaries. What you describe I hear nearly everyday(unfortunately). I'll anwser your question about her which really isn't helpful to you but perhaps it will help you understand and detach. Her extream moods swings are very common in early recovery. You really dont know what so!eone is suffering from(deppresson, bi-polar, etc..) untiltheyhave been clean and/or sober for a while minimum 6 months. All she is doing is switching one addiction for another. The feelings(rush generated by harmonies) you get from a new relationship can be intoxicating albeit short. As a recovering person myself with over 10 years sobriety I can tell you that all of the cross-dependence addictive behavior takes time to learn about. Although I can tell you if she went to rehab or was in NA both address the issue of dating immediately because its so harmful and unheathly in early recovery. In general most recommend not making any big changes I.e. "A new relationship" for a minimum of 9-12 months YEAH that long. She has a long road ahead and hopefully she will get sober and become stable with her depression. But you can't in mess yourself for your sake and hers. Be well...
@dabbot thank you so much for taking the time to explain things. I honestly thought she's jumped into a new relationship far too early. And the last few texts I got from her read in a way that I think she may still have been taking some drugs. She may or may not have finally pushed me away in an attempt to protect me but who knows.
i really want to help her but now I'm blocked from all forms of contact and have been for nearly 2 weeks. But it's up to her to help herself at the end of the day.
It tears me up because I know we could have had something special. I love the girl underneath all these issues. I fear she's just jumped into this relationship to ease the pain and hasn't dealt with our breakup at all. But she clearly wants nothing to do with me now.
And it sounds stupid considering we both dislike Valentine's Day but the thought of her waking up beside someone else most days including today is killing me. It should be me. Maybe some day she'll realise her mistake, deal with issues and come back to me but I'm struggling to move on from that notion. Because it isn't helpful to me
To be perfectly honest I have no idea what my next step should be. I know with her cutting off contact and seeing someone else the obvious thing to do is forget and move on. I've tried and at times I've felt better, just can't seem to get any consistency. I still have this part of me that thinks she'll unblock me and contact me like she's done before. And to be honest I want that more than anything, I want her more than anything. Which sucks most of all
@Ross71
Your best bet is to move on with your life. Ha, how much I hated hearing that when I've been in your position. I've unfortunately been there more than once ugh. However it really does get better with time as long as you are moving forward. It is possible to get stuck in one of the processes of grief(the end of a relationship). So just as long as you recognize, Denial, Bargaining, Depression, Anger and finally acceptance. Those feelings rotate in no particular order at times I know I felt total acceptance and understanding of the end of a relationship. Only to revisit Anger or Bargaining again. But as more time goes by and I continue to focus on being my best self the length that acceptance and peace about what happened gets longer until one day that's all that's left is acceptance. Everyone is different in the process and the feelings, obsessing, ruminating are normal as long as they don't end up lasting a looog time(a month stuck on one feeling). Again the key is moving through the feelings "You've got to feel it to heal it" is absolutely true. The more someone resists their feelings the more they persist. Allowing yourself time in each day at first to really feel what you are feeling over the loss of her usually helps. But as you probably know anyone over the age of 15+ maybe younger have felt a loss of someone we loved or cared deeply for. Again take care of yourself it gets better it is still very fresh...
~DA~
@dabbot thank you so much. That actually makes total sense. I am going through those stages and didn't realise that they rotate the way that they do. I still have good days and bad but overall I'm feeling better about myself and know that in the long run she wasn't right for me and this wasn't going to work. I'd like to fast forward to the end and to the person I'm meant to be with but just not there yet. I'm concentrating on having fun and can feel myself becoming more like the old me every day. It's true that whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. I've learnt a lot from this and what I thought was unconditional true love from someone, definitely wasn't. You wouldn't treat someone the way I've been treated if you truely loved them. Thanks for the advice again
Been struggling badly these past few days. Definitely back in the depression phase. Scared I'll never meet someone who got me like she did or as beautiful as she is. I need to shake it, I know she was no good for me, you don't treat someone you love the way I was treated. I just want the pain to stop
Your story is very powerful...and sad...i resonate with it a lot.
It kinda helps me too now because somehow I'm able to see both sides of the story with me and my exbf. I'm also the depressed girl in our story (only, minus the drugs and the rebounds...but I have jumped from one relationship to the other before my current ex).
From my point of view, many times I have blown hot and cold at him too, it frustrated him a lot. It was only now during therapy that I realized that we might need more than just two weeks to sort things out with the scars we collected in over a year. So what I'm trying to say is that...maybe she DID cut you off for your sake just as much as it was for hers. Depression is a terrible thing, and sometimes the ones we love most become the main target to project all the pain -- sometimes intentional sometimes not. Either way, this is not how depressed people would imagine a relationship would be, and with that in mind plus insecurities, plus guilt, and other traumas and variables related to her condition: it makes a horrible combination of emotions that eventually make it unhealthy for you and her.
She's actually very lucky you're understanding and still willing to sort out things with her if she allowed you to. I discovered mine had long lost patience and love for me even before we officially broke up.
I'm still not over him, but staying around will just create a lot of poison for the both of us. He only keeps me because of my mask that he likes, but besides that he's not really a fan of what I'm going through and he's neither supportive or understanding about it. He admits that he hates me now after all the shit I pulled last year for being depressed (we didnt know I was last year, so until now even after we found out and I'm going to therapy, he's taking it personally and hasn't forgiven me) and really just wants to make me pay.
So in a way, maybe, I think that your ex put a stop to it before you start to hate her cus of the abuse she might've done to you out of her lack of control with her emotions.
As horrible and painful as it may be...all of this is happening for a reason and it's both for you and her's growth, and the point of growing is to heal our wounds before we touch other people's lives in such intimate ways. I hope that in a way what I tell you also helps. I wish you the best and hang in there. :)
@weepingartist thank you so much. It's nice to get the point of view of someone that's kinda been through what she is.
I still think about her every day, and I know that she may never get in contact with me again, especially as it's now over a month and I haven't heard a thing. As far as I'm aware she's still with that other guy but who knows at this point.
I have been through every scenario in my head, I know I messed up at points. I hadn't dealt with anyone with depression before and it was a shock to the system. I should have fought for the relationship more before she pulled the plug but all of these things are great in hindsight. Clearly at the time I wasn't happy or I would have fought more.
I keep thinking that if she texts me I'll be angry, not give her the time of day but I know deep down I'll just be exactly the same as I was with her. Always wanting to help, and hoping that maybe I can win her back. But I don't know if it's the right move for either of us, especially if the drug issues are still lingering. Plus the fact her friends and certain family members hate me, even though they don't know the whole story.
honestly though, I appreciate the insight. I'm holding ip
ok, still good days and really bad ones where I fear I'll never meet someone that compares. But I'll get there, have to keep thinking positive
it's normal for you to want her relationship with someone else to be a 'rebound' you don't want to think that she could have something meaningful with someone else so soon because you still have feelings for her. it sounds like you both have been through a lot, I don't think the feelings just dissapeared. I agree it is more likely that she has directed her focus onto new things to try to get away from the feelings she had and her addictions. I think now is a good time to try to focus on you and what you enjoy doing - the things that make you feel good. What are your hobbies? What are you interested in? There is actually only good that can come of you focussing on you and doing things that you enjoy - learn a new language or a skill, or work on a skill/talent you are already into. If things are meant to be and she wants to be with you after everything, and you are ready and available then that is great, but if not I believe you will move onto better things that are better suited for you. Try to take it day by day. Set small goals for yourself (like I won't text her or call her or check her social media for 1 week, and as you accomplish each goal, set a new one. you will build consistency to a point where you no longer want to look back because you have come so far!) I know it's hard but if you keep busy and not spend so much time wondering what she is up to, you will heal more quickly. In my experience a solid break from everything that reminds you of that will make you feel better. Take care and all the best. Hope this helps!