Clueless? Maybe not.

Im 26 years old, Im married 5 years, together almost 9. & have two kids. My husband is a super hateful guy, always has been, now its just unbearable. He blames a lot of it on work, other days its the kids not listening, & then there are days he blames it on my family and friends. Sometimes, if not more than half the time, emotionally abusive. I have been in a really hard place this past year and a half, trying and begging him to work on his hatefulness. He has said 101 times that hes gonna fix it. Well, nothing changes. I guess its my own stupidity for putting up with it like I do. Just trying to figure it out for the kids I guess. Which Ive started to question if keeping them here is the right thing... I do love him, but I cant even like being around him.. When I try to talk to my family or friends about it, they think Im crazy for putting up with it. He doesnt talk to me, communicating has never been his specialty, and even typing this out Im questioning whats wrong with me. I told him, him asking for sex when we have no other relationship, makes me feel used.. yet he still asks every single day. Im sorry for all the rambling. I just am trying to figure out what the heck Im supposed to be doing. I feel like Im losing my mind, I know its not good for my kids to see me so unhappy either. Hopefully you guys can give me some good advice.. because I am at a stand still.. thank you guys so much in advance. 😔