Covid ruined my relationship
I met my boyfriend in 2018 and we started dating in 2019. Things were going great, and I’m pretty we were each other’s first love. It literally felt like one of those lives where everything aligned. Covid hit in 2020 and it started to get really hard to see him, add in how he lived far away and didn’t even have a car to come see me so I had to be the one to drive to see him despite how I have anxiety driving far and had to share a car with my brother. Eventually it became hard seeing each other and he broke up me in the beginning of the year. He even told me that he started to feel like he was losing feelings for me 6 months before he broke with me despite how I paid for him to come on a vacation with me and my family where they said he was part of the family. So, now I feel broken despite how it’s been months. Even worse, I’m having doubts if he ever really loved me or if I was just a comfort relationship since he had a hard time connecting with people. Now he’s on his own going on adventures and apparently went on dating apps only a month after we broke up. He even started following his ex, who cheated on him, on Instagram. I’m trying really hard to move on and I even got some new hobbies and been spending time with friends and making new friends. I just don’t know how to really move on from this since I still miss him, but seems like he’s better off without me.
I guess it also hurts because in the beginning of the relationship, he would also go through these phases where he wanted to be with me, then cut me off for a week or two before coming back to me and I always took him back. Not only that, but I always forgave him when his depression got the better of him, or when he blew up at me because he thought I was staring at or interested in another guy, which I wasn’t but he never believed me. So I put up a lot with his bs, and did nothing but support him, especially when he wanted to go back to school or quit his good paying job during a time when job hunting was hard af. And I did everything to make sure I could try and see him. The weekend before he dumped me, I even paid for an Uber to go to him and spend the weekend with him where we made summer plans. I ended up relapsing into my depression when he broke up with me. He even stopped texting me because he got tired of me crying about the breakup and being hurt about it. Now I’m scared of going into another relationship because I don’t know if I’m gonna dropped out of no where. He didn’t even break up with me in person, he just texted me a long message then just never reached back to me even tho he knows I have really bad depression and anxiety.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. Something similar just happened to me too, know that you are not alone. From the way you tell the story, it seems as though the relationship was unequal from the start. You seemed to have made all of the major efforts to make it work, giving your time and money and love. He seemed to have been hesitant from the start and not that proactive to see you. Frankly, whether he was sincere or fake, he didn't deserve someone like you. The fact that he broke up via text message shows the little regards he had for your feelings. You know that you can find someone better, right? In a way, he did you a favor by breaking up with you. He is the type of man who would have ran away on the day of your wedding or while you were pregnant. He has the problem, he is childish and a coward. Please take this time to take your mind off him and think about yourself. What kind of husband do you think that you deserve? Do you want someone that will make you pay gobeverything and then leave you for a T,inder date??? Or do you think to yourself "h@ll no, never again, I am strong, I won't be in a relationship where I give everything and he takes". If you give everything, time, energy, love, if you sacrifice yourself, that won't make a man feel grateful. It will make him feel that he can be a jerk and get away with it. Love yourself enough to get out when you see unacceptable and disrespectful behavior. Teach a man that you have expectations and he needs to meet them. Take care! (I also wrote this message for me to memorize)