Crossed Lines
So my girlfriend just broke up with me a week ago because she felt she needs to focus on her and her sister's depression, and her deteriorating home situation; her father is really sick, and may not last much longer. I don't fault her for that; it's the mature and sensible option. But these past four days, my "friend" has been extremely rude and crossed some lines. She's always been close with my girlfriend, and it was annoying when she would grab my girlfriends other hand as we walked and such, but I dealt. But now, I can't hold my girlfriend's hand, I can hardly talk to her. And so my "friend" stares me in the eye while draping herself over her, holding her hand, hugging her, and she knows that's rude and it makes me want to stab her in the neck. And if that wasn't enough she makes jabs at me, saying my girlfriend broke up with me because I'm such a loser, because she loves her more, and similar things. I take a lot of shit from her, but when it hurts so much to not know what's going on with me and my girlfriend anymore, and not know if she really meant it when she said she wants to get back together after things get better, it jet makes me so angry I want to stab her with a rusty knife and let her choke on her own blood. I get really really mad when I actually snap so I'm attempting to vent here because she pisses me off so much, and I have no right to be technically since I broke up with my girlfriend.
@TheWingedGemini
It's good to vent, and you're doing it in a healthy way. I wouldn't recommend the rusty knife, but putting your feelings down in writing is a really good way to process them.
And as for your 'friend'.....they're being incredibly insensitive to your feelings. If you don't feel able to address it with them, sometimes you just have to let it go, as stewing over it only seems to make it ten times worse.
So have the thought of them choking on their own blood - make it messy and painful if you want - but remember it's only a daydream, rise above it, and then move on.
@TheWingedGemini Um ok....
I think you should talk to a therapist about such intense feelings of violence if you really have intentions of hurting someone. Please do not do that. Find healthy ways to release intense emotions such as going to the gym, listening to music, yelling in the car, etc.
For me, the best way to solve it is to not bottle it, but find a way to tell them how you feel. You can show emotion when you do that, but do NOT physically hurt anyone please.
You can look on the self-help guides for assertive communication. Use "I" statements. "When you touch my ex, it makes me feel jealous, because I still have feelings for her. In the future, please do not touch her in front of me, especially after such a recent breakup."
Be specific about what particular actions bothered you so you can ask precisely for actions you want your friend to stop doing.
Remember that you can't control how they respond when you talk to them, but you can feel good when you stand up and express your feelings and needs. If your friend continues behavior that makes you comfortable, maybe consider taking a break from seeing them, or take time for yourself to generally be away from the both of them, go on a camping trip/skiing trip to get away and calm down.
One more time: if you are really considering harming someone please call a crisis mental health counselor or crisis hotline.
