Desperate for advice

Hi

ive been with my husband for ten years, married for almost 3. We’ve had a bumpy road and in the past there has been several times I thought he was cheating on me and knew of several times he has lied about small things and big things.

I stayed because I love him and hoped things would get better. After waiting 6 years, we finally got engaged and then married. I wanted more kids (he’s ten years older than me) and knew this was a deal breaker for me from the beginning. We’re both older (me late 30s and him late 40s) but he said he would have a child with me. Infertility issues hit…and after two and a half years, one round of IUI and 2 rounds of IVF we still don’t have a baby. I’ve put on a lot of weight from the meds and stress.

my husband recently found text messages between me and a coworker who were friends with. No “sexting” but could be argued for being flirty for sure. Nothing has happened and frankly I didn’t want and wasn’t looking for anything to happen but my husband is certain we have crossed the line. Before my husband and I got together, I did have a crush on this coworker but nothing happened then and I don’t have feelings for him now nor am I attracted to him. My husband is furious and keeps hinting at a divorce which I do not want at all. I’ve tried talking to him but he thinks I’m trying to justify it and unless I admit that I’ve crossed the line, then I’m lying. I’m so torn because I love my husband so much and I hate that I’ve possibly ruined our relationship for a bunch of texts that have nothing behind them.

I am so besides myself and heartbroken that I may have just ended our marriage and am completely lost on what I should do.