Desperate love

I've been dating this man for seven years, since high-school. I was his first real girlfriend and first real lover. Things started going south around our four year mark, I've started transferring over to an anxious attachment style and he's started transferring over to an avoidant attachment style. We were constantly on and off. There were many negatives but there were also many positives. Thursday we broke up and Friday I did something unspeakable because I saw something I really did not like in the slightest. I went over board and now I'm blocked in every possible way begging them to come back. I am genuinely sorry for what I've done and finally understand why our relationship hadn't worked. If I had one last chance to be with him I'd give him space and even let the relationship be an open relationship so that he can experience sex with other people. I'm willing to go that far to be with him and I don't think ot would bother me as much as I thought it would have. As long as I can have him in my life. I wouldn't be so controlling or restrictive or annoy him about simple things. I really miss him with all of my heart. I know I can't force him to come back, and ik the reason things have ended is just as much my fault as it is his. And I know I've told him this millions of times before but I will really change and give him full control of the relationship. I wish I could tell him this but he wouldn't listen nor belive me even if I ment it from the bottom of my heart. I really miss him and want him back someone please tell me what to do. I know hes the one for me I've been in many relationships before and his eyes are the most beautiful eyes I've ever set sights on, his voice and kisses are the most amazing. And I just keep daydreaming about his neck kisses. And cuddles. It hurts to be split from someone I consider my best friend.