Divorce incoming
Maybe I’m just writing this because I need to get it out of my mind. I have been with the same man for pretty much all my life and now he wants a divorce and I’m terrified. I feel like he woke up one day and wanted to live a completely different life without me. Now whenever I speak to him it’s like talking to a wall or he says something cruel and I spend a long time crying. I have no idea what I am going to do or how I’m going to take care of myself. My parents want to help me but I feel horrible for putting them through this. It makes me feel even worse that he can be hurting me so badly but I still love him.
Hey @florafauna99. Firstly welcome to 7 Cups, I'm really glad that you have joined us 💜
I can hear from your post how heartbreaking and overwhelming this situation is for you, and it's brave to put this all into words. Being with someone for most of your life creates a deep sense of safety and identity, so when that person wants a divorce, it can feel like the ground has been pulled out from under you.
You mentioned feeling guilting for leaning on your parents. It sounds like they care about you and want to support you through something incredibly painful. It's okay to let people help you right now, and you don't need to be strong on your own.
It sounds like its been quite conflicting with you still loving him even while he is hurting you, and that's something so many people in your situation experience. Love doesn't just switch off because circumstances change. It takes time for your heart to catch up to what's happening, and there's no shame in that.
You're always welcome to post in the forums if it helps you process things, that is exactly why 7 Cups is here! If you ever would like to have space to discuss with a 1:1 listener, you can request a private chat to connect to an online listener. You're not alone with this, and you don't have to figure everything out at one!
You mentioned that you wanted to post to get it out of your mind, how do you feel writing everything down and posting?
Sending you many good wishes💜
Emma
@florafauna99
Sometimes we make big changes in our life we are not comfortable with. Often it is when life happens and we were not expecting it. It really takes time to adjust. take help when help is offered you must feel lost and confused and with accepting help you can focus on sorting out what your new future will look like.
The hardest thing is to let go of what you had planned in your head the future will look like.
I will say when someone asks for a divorce there is a reason.... it is something that was growing in them for some time. we did not see or chose to think it was a phase. He may be avoiding talking or says cruel things to stay solid in his decision. divorce hurts both even if one asked for it.