Do I stay or do I go?
I think I might want a divorce. Im so unhappy. I feel like my partner is holding me back from healing and improving my mental health. They also have a lot of mental issues. However, Ive taken the steps to start to improve myself and heal. They havent. Most days being married to them is so emotionally exhausting.
I honestly believe if I were to leave. Theyd kill themself. This thought haunts my dreams and consumes my every thought.
I just dont know what to do
I can only imagine how hard it is to go through all of this! However, you should never let the sense of guilt guide you. You can't make decisions for your life based on how others could react. If divorce is a necessary path for your mental health, denying yourself this chance will only make you feel worse and worse. There's no reason for both of you to suffer. If they don't take care of their mental health, and you've tried your best to encourage them to do so, you can't blame yourself. Some changes must come from within.
However, taking care of our mental health is always the best choice we can make. We all owe ourselves to do this. If your marriage prevents you from properly doing so, it is your right to care for yourself. If you think you can handle this, you can try to support your partner in a different way, no longer as a partner but rather as a friend, so you can put some distance between you two while still being a presence in his life. But it's up to you. Your mental health is your top priority, never feel guilty or egoistic because of this, it's basic self-respect!
@Aayla this response means more to me than you may ever know. Thank you very much.
@SavannahSkies and knowing that my words helped you so much is very important to me! I wish you all the best!