Ex sends text months later saying "I did want to tell you a few things I never gave myself the chance to..."

@MayMatthew1216

Hi May, I have a similar experience...well kind of. I got dithced out of the blue with unconvincing explanation and when I asked him to say clearly it's over between us he said he couldn't, then we stayed in touch for a week, I asked again for the same thing and never heard from him again. We reconnected again after 3 months and I can tell you from my experience that everything he said was useless for me. He hurt me badly and nothing he said could ever undo the damage he had done. We are still texting, but it's completely useless. I thought that he would offer something I could have as closure, but it didn't work like that. I'm still struggling to cope with what he'd done, but I feel better when I don't hear from him at all. Is there anything you want him to explain? Do you need it still? If you have truly moved on, ask yourself is there any value for you in talking to him again.

Well done on being happy and moving on, I hope you think of yourself first and foremost in this and never let him hurt you again.

@MayMatthew1216 Hi May, first of all I want to tell you how proud you should be of yourself for both quitting contact with him and for moving forward with nursing school despite this hardship.. you are a very strong person, I hope you know that. The sudden break-up must have been quite a shock to you, but it sounds like you have kept your priorities straight. In a sense this text message is him reaching out for something he needs for himself - to feel less guilty, to get attention, to get you to feel something again, to get his own sense of closure - but I think that you have gotten far beyond the point of needing any interaction with him. If you would like to be friends with him or hear what he has to say then that depends on how comfortable you are with the idea of talking to him again - would it make a difference to you? would it change anything if you heard from him? Looking back, when I responded to my ex I ended up feeling worse about myself because I felt like I gave him the upper hand by allowing him to talk to me - I kind of gave him the in that he never deserved. He apologized but deep down I knew he didn't mean it and he just wanted to get a rise out of me. If you have no plans to ever be friends with him again then I would really think about if you have anything to gain from talking to him again. You have options - you can even reply and tell him something short and sweet, like glad to hear from you again but I've moved on... or you can not reply at all, that's okay too. Remember, you have come a very long way so far! Trust your instincts, they seem to be leading you in the right direction. Hope this helps, take care! xo