Family Life - Coping with Divorce

@MistyMagic To answer your specific questions --

How do you tell the children?

Depending on the age, the method/timing of delivery will be different. But, I think being as honest as possible (without revealing details that are inappropriate or stressful for children to know) is the best route. "Mom and Dad have been trying for a long time to be happy together but we've decided that we'd be happiest if we lived in different homes." And then explaining what that means for the kids in regards to schedule etc. I think the most important piece is showing a unified front and being on the same page in front of the kids. Showing empathy towards the kiddos, accepting that kiddos will be sad/angry/act out and letting them know that Mom and Dad will answer their questions as best they can and be able to tolerate however the kids react.

How do you cope with divorce

I think it's important for divorcing families to consider engaging in some face to face therapy. Someone trained in this area that can help the parents form a parenting plan, help them stay on the same page and allow the kids to process what this change means. Ideally, they parents need to remember that the kids come FIRST in this situation and their own "drama" cannot be played out in front of the children, the children cannot be used as "pawns," etc. Each parent needs to be taking care of themselves physically and emotionally during this time.

What methods of survival might we use?

I think this will be different for every family. It depends on how functional or dysfunctional the family unit was prior to the divorce. I think open communication, therapy, reading books / articles on how to handle/survive divorce are helpful. There are divorce support groups, family groups, etc.

@MistyMagic

my parents are happily married but I had a close friend when I was little that went through this.

I can say that parents need to be honest. Children have a different way of perception but I find that being honest helps. Just tell the kid that mum and dad aren't happy but they'll still be around.

Do NOT fight in front of the child! Children always assume that when problems show up is their entire fault. Find help on this because is not a good enviornment for the kid.

Also learn to co-parent. Seeing my friend heartbroken always hoping from home to home yet both parents facing different ways it doesn't work.

You don't need to agree with the new life of your ex partner to co-parent. You have one thing in comment, a beautiful child that needs your love. Get together on that. A happy mummy and daddy means a happy kid.

So while kids are going from home to home try to make things go natural as possible.

Another thing that I recommend is in case you are in a new relationship in the future, do not make your child call that new person mum or dad. I find that is really disrespectul for the kid. Is someone special to that kid's life? Absolutly. But the kid doesn't need to attach a parental label to that new person just to show that.

And that's all I have to say. Again I'm not educated on this, this is just my opinion based in what I saw my friend go through and suffer.