Happily ever after?
I found out about my husband's affair when we. Were in Galveston for our 10 year anniversary. I never told anyone bc he had broke it off with her on speaker phone (he was a truck driver) this was end of Nov 2015. Mid Jan 2016 is w hen I found out he was bringing that same girl to his mom's in Louisiana, for his home time, instead of actually coming home to see me and the kids. I drove there. I said hey baby ,remember how you just said you wish I was here? Well, here I am! Deer in the headlights, that one. So I took him out back and told him he would have to choose, either take this bitch to the bus stop, or tell his kids that he is leaving me, the mother of his 3 children, married 10 years, together 12 years, known each other since 9th grade 15 years!! I told him I was going to let him think about it. He said he didn't need to, he was choosing her. Now fast forward to a month later. I finally allow him to come home, try it again. (He had repeatedly said I had done nothing wrong. And we also talked every day, even though he was with her for 3 weeks after I had gone over there.) So Valentine's day, he comes home and we get back together. He gives up his truck, and goes back to working with sheet metal. He's home every night. I even have a job now too. Financially we're doing great. Emotionally? Not so much. It seems that Everytime I have a day off, its wasted on bickering and fighting, that I usually start. I cry a lot. I feel broken and don't know how to fix myself. Any help plz?
It seems like the two of you are falling for different people, and are no longer falling for each other. If that dynamic works for the two of you being in the same home and everything, then that's fine, but it doesn't seem like it's working out all that well. That being said, divorce is not the worst thing that could happen; life is entirely too short to be unhappy, and if you two just feel guilted and obligated to be together, that kind of thing is going to rub off on the kids.
I don't know. What does your heart tell you to do?
@Cadence my heart tells me that I need anger management. I it has always been Rick and Meg. We're the ones that make it. I just miss him when he's at work. It's like I'm starting all over emotionally and going back to feeling the need to be around him all the time. Obsessed I would say. But I flip out over the most stupid things. I don't want to be with anyone else, I just want to fast forward through this bs time.
@nutmeg86o4
Hi. I found out the hard way once a cheater always a cheater; I wasted money on marriage counseling and years of my life that I can't get back trying to get my marriage back to "the good times we had." Changing the type of work won't stop your H from cheating if that's what he wants to do. I don't deal with in laws personally b/c they grin in your face knowing your H is doing mess behind your back. Asking a man to pick you over another woman is demeaning and often setting yourself up for further bs down the road. Think hard about why you took him back and the "message or image" of marriage you all are setting for your kids.
@Minxx I have my good days and bad. Now I have an angry split personality that I never had b4. Maybe I did chose wrong just like he did. Mfing mother in law is acting like I'm guilty too bc when I asked him for sure if he was coming back or not, he said no. So I spilled my guts to the one person that was there for me. Had not even a 1 blissful week trist with a friend and hubbies mom acts like I'm just as guilty as he is. Fuck that bitch. Sorry for the language.
@nutmeg86o4
I would imagine you are angry at your H for cheating to begin with and angry with yourself for still being there. Did u tell your MIL about your tryst? Individual counseling may help you get clarity on what you want and need for yourself now and in the future.
@Minxx I told my husband when I told him I wasn't taking him back. But get this, bc he was mad at me last night, he decided to unblock her on fb and Texted her last night. Nothing lovey dovey, but still Wtf? So I unblocked my friend on fb. I don't have his number or anything. I'm so hurt and angry. Like I have to be good or he'll leave again. But he doesn't think we'll work out in the long run bc he's cause too much damage. I was like ok, so I can invite Clay over for cards again? Cool, we are tied on phase 10. But I don't know if I want to keep trying with Hubbie or just say f it. We have 3 kids, but I don't want to stay together Just for them.
@nutmeg86o4
Hi. You told your husband or his mother that you slept with someone else? CAVEAT: The following is my opinion and based upon my experience. I think it was a mistake to tell either of them; they will not let u live it down even though he started. In my marriage, my ex would use anything to justify doing what he wanted to do. It's a good chance yours will to. If you are always worried about towing the line, he will keep you off balance and use any thing you do against you to to make it easier for him to keep up the foolishness.
Do you want to live with a man who brings another woman to his mother's house instead of coming home to see his kids? Do you want your kids to use your marriage as a model for how theirs should be when they grow up? Are you prepared for not being able to get the time back that you used and may use again wondering why your H cheated and whether he will do it again?
The answer to these questions may help you begin the process of deciding what you want and what you will accept. Get a th
@Minxx we fought on fathers day. Admittedly I had been drinking, but still. He contacted her. He talks to her while he's at work. Wtf? He doesn't care if I read their texts. So I do. She loves him and misses him all this bullshit from some one living in Minnesota. We live in tx. I know it's never going to happen for her again. I don't know why he would want to vent with her. But fuck it. He'll do what he does. And I'll do what I do. Either we'll make it or we won't. Only time will tell. I know I sound like a dumbass for staying with him, but I do believe that either way it goes, it's going to be the way it's supposed to be in the end.
i think it's a myth- 'happily ever after!'
