Harsh breakup
TW: MENTIONS SEXUAL ASSAULT. I was dating this guy I had been friends with for about 4 months we had met on Instagram and then we decided to date we had dated for around 5 or 6ish months then we decided he should move here and we could figure things out so we would be so far away from each other we were on opposite sides of the country. He gets here and is so incredibly rude and disrespectful to me and my parents who has let him stay at their house rent free that was the breaking point for me I can’t let someone disrespect my parents or me, however there were multiple things that had happened before the disrespect started to happen. He lied to me way too many times and used me financially and sexually, I had told him no and he still forced me to do things with him and I had been sexually abused a year or so before we ended up dating and he never knew and it flashed me back and I had a panic attack and he couldn’t handle it and got angry with me. So he had gone back home and we got into multiple fights before he left he got a hotel room it was a whole mess and he got home and he kept forcing me to give him a answer like what are we? Are we together? You need to give me a answer and I finally said yes I want to break up and he berated me and called me a child and that all this was my fault. So I have just had a hard time coping with what has been said to me and the fact that he lied about who he was as a person it really bothers me and I have so much regret and I feel so dirty and gross that I have been used sexually by someone who claimed to have loved me.
@reservedMango99917
I am so sorry to hear what you've been through with this horrible person.
You are very brave to have held to your boundaries and be firm about what you will not accept into your life and relationships. It is very hard especially in the face of such bullying, lies and manipulation, to remember who we are and say NO as you did. Well done to you! Much respect.
About the feelings of disgust that his actions left you with - You are absolutely right that it feels terrible to have allowed someone access to us under the illusion of love, who should never have had the privilege had we known the truth about them. The person on his own would never have had access to you had it not been for the hope of love, respect and a future. It is possible to make room to let go of those negative feelings and regain your peace again. Self care to create happy relaxed moments (particularly physical pampering like hot fragrant baths, spa treatments, jacuzzi, etc) can go a long way in restoring some of the balance which has been disturbed.
I really appreciate that it was definitely difficult to keep true to myself and my boundaries especially with them being crossed so often. Thank you!
Yes exactly I definitely need to learn to let go of my past in that way so it doesn’t effect me on a daily basis. Those are really good ideas thank you so much!
Thank you so much for responding as well I really appreciate that.
@reservedMango99917
You are always welcome! Much strength and peace to you <3
@0m
Thank you so much!