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reservedMango99917
780 M Little Steps
PathStep 44 Compassion hearts66 Forum posts17 Forum upvotes38 Current upvotes38 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2022 Member sinceJune 28, 2021
Recent forum posts
Depression and jealousy after miscarriage
Depression Support / by reservedMango99917
Last post
 October 25th, 2022
...See more I just wanted to sort of vent here so I had my miscarriage around 5 months ago and I’m still upset about it obviously not as much but sometimes it makes me upset. I am working with someone who is possibly pregnant and I feel such jealousy and I know I shouldn’t feel jealous but I just wish my fertility wasn’t compromised. Is this feeling of jealousy a part of the healing stage? Any recommendations as to how I can not have these negative feelings so often. Thank you!
New relationship being hurt by old relationships
Relationship Stress / by reservedMango99917
Last post
 October 2nd, 2022
...See more I have just started dating a guy that I know is a good guy my mom has know him forever and he’s just looking for someone to love not hurt although I know that and on most levels I trust him but I’m so scared of getting hurt that I feel like I’m ruining our relationship even though I don’t want to. I want to be able to love him without being scared. Any advice on how to stop myself from thinking the absolute worst constantly?
Missing my ex
Relationship Stress / by reservedMango99917
Last post
 July 12th, 2022
...See more I have really been missing my ex lately we just recently got back in contact with each other after being broken up for around 8 months or so I dated someone else during that time thinking he would be better than my ex and he was the exact opposite he was 1000 times worse than my ex ever was which made me miss him almost immediately because I knew he would never lie to me he was always honest and at the beginning he was super in love and I just miss that because it was mutual. Then he became super distant and not engaged at all or seemed like he cared about anything and was super uninterested in me so I decided to break up with him because I thought it was me but no we are friends right now and he’s a little better but still the same way. I had confessed to him that I missed him and he wasn’t into it and ignored me for a bit so I don’t know if that’s just because he is scared to be rejected or vulnerable because that’s his way in a relationship is to protect himself so he doesn’t really interact in a connecting way because he’s scared to be hurt and rejected so I’m not sure it just makes me sad because I do genuinely love and care about him but I’ve already broken his trust once by breaking up with him so I’m sure I’ll never have a chance again which I understand why I wouldn’t. I just want him to be happy. I also know if we get back together he will still be the same uninterested person and still have his girl best friends and get drunk often and continue to follow half naked girls on insta that are no where close to my body and I’ll feel insecure so I’m not sure why I miss him so much but I do I have improved and I just want to show him I have improved and love him how he deserves to be loved but now I’m so scared to express my feelings to him because he’s so dismissive
Sexual assault healing support
Trauma Support / by reservedMango99917
Last post
 July 5th, 2022
...See more TW TRIGGER WARNING GRAPHIC Almost a year ago I was sexually assaulted by a acquaintance a friend of a friend type of dynamic at a party. He drove me off site of the party and proceeded to sexually assault me. I was 19 and he was 37, I was a virgin when I was assaulted so that really bothers me because it was taken from me I try to forget about it and act like that wasn’t who took my virginity because truly it wasn’t because that wasn’t what I wanted but it isn’t about the virginity thing it’s more so about having a hard time coping with the entire situation because I feel so dirty and like my body hasn’t been mine since. About 3 months after this happened I started to date my friend and after dating for around 6 months we lived together for a little bit and he never knew the situation that had happened and he forced me into having sex when I had said no multiple times and it just bothered me so much because not only was it someone I trusted it also flashed me back immediately and he got so angry that I was upset it was just very hard to cope with. Thankfully he is my ex now. I would just like to know what I can do to actually start healing and reclaiming my body back as my own. Thank you
Miscarriage
Grief & Loss / by reservedMango99917
Last post
 September 23rd, 2022
...See more I have just experienced a early pregnancy miscarriage. I am 20 years old and have always wanted a family since I was very young and since this has happened I feel so discouraged and like maybe I am not meant to have a family of my own. I am incredibly sad about it but my partner at the time is extremely toxic and I’m glad he isn’t in the picture but that may also be the reason it was a miscarriage because he is such a terrible person that bringing a child into that situation would’ve been terrible for our child so in that sense I’m thankful however it’s still incredibly difficult to cope with especially since I’m going through this by myself and when I had told him I had a miscarriage he got so angry at me that I didn’t tell him immediately but I needed time to process what had happened. Luckily we aren’t together anymore but it is difficult to cope with this loss on your own.
Harsh breakup
Relationship Stress / by reservedMango99917
Last post
 June 27th, 2022
...See more TW: MENTIONS SEXUAL ASSAULT. I was dating this guy I had been friends with for about 4 months we had met on Instagram and then we decided to date we had dated for around 5 or 6ish months then we decided he should move here and we could figure things out so we would be so far away from each other we were on opposite sides of the country. He gets here and is so incredibly rude and disrespectful to me and my parents who has let him stay at their house rent free that was the breaking point for me I can’t let someone disrespect my parents or me, however there were multiple things that had happened before the disrespect started to happen. He lied to me way too many times and used me financially and sexually, I had told him no and he still forced me to do things with him and I had been sexually abused a year or so before we ended up dating and he never knew and it flashed me back and I had a panic attack and he couldn’t handle it and got angry with me. So he had gone back home and we got into multiple fights before he left he got a hotel room it was a whole mess and he got home and he kept forcing me to give him a answer like what are we? Are we together? You need to give me a answer and I finally said yes I want to break up and he berated me and called me a child and that all this was my fault. So I have just had a hard time coping with what has been said to me and the fact that he lied about who he was as a person it really bothers me and I have so much regret and I feel so dirty and gross that I have been used sexually by someone who claimed to have loved me.
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