Heartbroken, lonely and confused

Me and my ex girlfriend have broken up 3 days ago. I know it is all still fresh, but I hate it and it feels like I am dying inside. My anxiety has been in the roof. I have ended this though, I have ended the relationship after feeling like our relationship was not important to her anymore. I also felt like she did not love me as much anymore. Of course she would deny it when bringing up my concerns but it just hurts. I guess I’m in denial. We have been on and off for the last couple of months every two weeks or so. But this time it’s foreal. She has blocked me everywhere and my number. She had text me and said that she was done but I already had broken up with her. She said I had been too much to begin with. It hurts because we both have done wrong doing and we were coming back from all of that. (Before dating, in the talking stage someone else was in the picture and she did not like that, then out of spite she went and slept with someone that had liked her and I didn’t want her talking to) obviously there were trust issues along the way but we had gotten better, no one was an issue anymore between us. That’s when I asked her to be my girlfriend. About 4 weeks ago I suggested we go to counseling. After she agreed, I immediately set up a date and time, which we both agreed on. Then the next day she tells me that she booked a client and that money was more important. It left me feeling like she did not care about us or what we have going on for each other. I brushed it off but still expressed my concerns. I insisted that if she was serious and cared about us, she has to make the appointment now because I took the initiative to do so already and it had gotten no where. Fast forward to now, I had to break up with her. I kept telling myself that if she wanted to she would. If she cared about us she would want to seek help for us. For those 4 weeks she has been telling me that she doesn’t know how to make appointments, or she was busy with clients, then she stated she wanted my help. I was totally fine with helping her. I just wanted her to initiate it to show me that she cares. There were times when I would bring up counseling to remind her though, but still excuses. It hurts because I want to be with her but I feel like we couldn’t stay happy without seeking some professional help. Now it backfires because I know how I feel deep down inside about her but I still love her. It’s like I’m so used to her. It’s been 2 years since we have known each other. All I wanted to do was counseling man. Now I’m sitting here feeling like I am broken with with when I did the breaking up. She says she loves me if I believe it or not, but it’s just so easy for her. Meanwhile I’m here , barely eating or sleeping. And she is going off to finish her last year in college tomorrow. My anxiety is making me think about so many things and about her forgetting about me. I just want to be with her everytime we break up , even when I know how I feel about her isn’t right . I know I’m not crazy for how I felt because it was never any actions behind her words. I was trying to hold on. But now I’m left feeling like the bad guy. I keep texting her number even though I’m blocked. It’s just so bad . Can I get some opinions please?