He cheated on me with Peru ladies.

@brokenAF23

I am sorry that your relationship ended the way it did, I understand the emotional struggles of maintaining a long distance relationship and how isolating it can feel. However, the difficulties of a long-distance relationship does not excuse your ex-boyfriends actions. He should have worked harder to communicate his feelings with you and was wrong in cheating with other women. You are seeking closure in a relationship that ended poorly and that is completely understandable. Seeing as you were with him for so long, I dont think that seeking an explanation for his actions would be desperate so long as youre willing to have an open conversation about the matter.

As for your pain, I believe your issues lie mostly in your self-confidence. Having struggled with my own self-esteem numerous times, I can see how your ex-boyfriend cheating on you would make you feel less of yourself. However, his terrible decisions do not reflect upon you. Just from what I read, you seem like a thoughtful and loving individual and your ex-boyfriend has no right to make you think otherwise. While it is true that time heals all wounds, you must see the value in yourself and realize that your ex-boyfriend has lost someone who truly cared about him and that is his loss, not yours.

With all that being said, I hope you are able to move on from the breakup and wish you the very best <3

@brokenAF23

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

I thought long distance relationship will make our love stronger, but it didnt. (This depends on various factors, but the number one is that certain unresolved issues will get intensified during a long distance relationship. It's very important to always put personal growth and self improvement first.) It only broke me slowly into pieces. When my boyfriend was acting cold, (He was feeling smothered here and was seeking space) I thought it was just for a show. He used to do that when Im busy at work and seldom pays attention to him. (He felt separation anxiety here, felt unimportant and like he wasn't a priority, so he kept quiet by being cold. I could tell some of his insecurities took over) I was wrong. When he stood three days without communicating with me, I know in my heart that there was something wrong. (Your separation anxiety was triggered here when he didn't talk to you for three days, however you felt something in your gut that something wasn't right) I ignored the idea though. I just thought he was mad at me. He really was but he had another activity going on. One of our common friends told me he saw my boyfriend with different Peru ladies in the club, malls or restaurants. (This tells me that he doesn't have much intengrity, if his needs are not met then he will start lining other women) I broke up with him then. I did not need to hear any explanation coming from him since its as clear as crystal that he wanted the same thing too. I always doubted my worth since then. (I can tell that before the relationship you didn't feel worthy of things, not loved, not cared or validated, so this relationship put a band-aid on those things, and you felt even worst when the relationship didn't work out. I highly suggest you take a look at your past, because everything starts from there) Until now, I cant accept the fact that he was able to throw away our almost 4 years ride. (It's understandable you are thinking about this, it's tough knowing a person you love would do this to you.) I always found myself crying every night. (This is normal, it's painful and hurtful what he did. Take your time with this, the hurt phase is one of the most difficult one, but you will be fine one day. Shed tears and not hold them back, it'll make you feel better) I needed an explanation but I dont want to look desperate in front of him. Is there anything else I can do to ease the pain? (This is probably you heard before, but only time can do this. You should feel those emotions of sadness on order to heal them, and talk about this issue util you feel better)