Help
Me and my now ex girlfriend have been in a relationship for 6 months, although our relationship was long distanced we still made the most of it and we texted and called all the time.
we’ve always been fighting on and off for months around one fight / argument a week where we’d just go through moods of anger instead of being mature and talking to eachother.
I use to control who she was friends with online due to the fact of me being a massive overthinker and liking her to stat away from people i saw as a threat to my relationship does this make me a bad person?
We ended things around 3 days ago after a massive argument broke out due to something small, she said she couldn’t take it anymore and that she hates me and i was nothing but toxic and controlling because i didnt let her have friends , we’ve been talking on and off for the last few days and she keeps saying how she’s happier now and I told her how i’d change and fix my controlling factor but she said no its better if we breakup
I feel terrible right now like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, I’m not eating I have no appetite all i can think about is her, I feel like I want to d1e but at the same time I know i don’t have the strength to actually end my life and i know i wont actually end it.
She called me a terrible person for constantly controlling her and said i manipulated her , Am i a bad person? can anyone tell me how i can change and what to do please
@pioneeringBlueberry3922
I am so sorry your relationship has been hard. Sounds like you should take some time for yourself. you are not a bad person.
I mean controlling is a toxic trait and it can destroy trust . Shes allowed to make her own decisions and choose her own friends. We dont have the right to dictate other people's lives . You have to start seeing her as a human being with needs and emotions. You can warn here If you find out if someones a threat to her but dont choose who she gets to hangout with or talk to. Before you get into a relationship you should work on your insecurities and trust issues . I would reccomend going to therapy if you have the chance to work on personal growth. But look we all screw up and theres nothing to be ashamed of that and maybe it worked out for the better. I know you feel guilty but you should have a little self compassion and forgive yourself and that's the only way to move forward. Remeber your past doesnt define I believe anyone is capable of change. Also dont worry about making mistakes now because it will be worth it in the long run. Use this as a learning opportunity to push yourself to be better. I'm sorry your going through this hard time rn but It will get better.
