He’s coming over within the next hour

Ex from a wonderful four year relationship left me a little over a week ago. It was mostly unexpected for me (even though I’m starting to realize he must’ve been starting to move on while he was still with me, but was continuing to tell me loving and meaningful things over the holidays). We’ve been no contact since and I do think it’s made it less hard than if we were still talking, but I’m still so heartbroken and confused and hurt. He was my best friend and now we’re just supposed to be nothing? Even throughout the day when I have a short amount of time when I’m feeling alright, I’ll see something or say something that reminds me of him and I want to tell him about it....but I know I can’t and it breaks me all over again. I sometimes drive past where I know he’s staying to see his car...I know I shouldn’t do that. I don’t know why I do do it, it doesn’t really make me feel better or worse but I can’t seem to stop. Two days ago he texted me asking if we could get together and talk on 1/23 (today). I’m certain it’s about living situations/furniture as where he’s staying currently is probably not sustainable. His name is on the lease of “our” apartment that I’m now staying in alone. I’m not ready for this conversation and I’m terrified he’s basically going to tell me I need to find somewhere else to live. I know that he’s not going to, but somewhere deep in my heart I’m really hoping he’ll just come back and tell me how much he’s missed me and wants to come home :( I’m going to try to stay strong and show him I can live my life without him, that he doesn’t hold all power over me, but I’m also sure I’m going to breakdown when I see him. I miss him so much still I hate it. I’m dreading seeing him because I have a feeling it’s going to set me right back to the beginning when I was so hurt and heartbroken I couldn’t move, couldn’t eat, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything. And at the same time I’m excited just because he’ll be here and I’ll get to hear his voice again. I don’t really have any questions or anything so I guess this is a pointless thread, but I just feel so anxious and powerless I needed to vent somewhere :/