Holding Onto Hope...

@Alien1242 well a ex is a ex for a reason if it didn't work out best to move on it will get easier with time what i did when i broke up with my ex bf two years ago I did a no contact and blocked him so i can move on its tough but it got easier as the feelings went away.

My exboyfriend recently broke up with me on Friday January 3rd through a message. He specifically said that he thought it was time to end our relationship. This cought ne completely off guard because I thought things were good. We met on Sunday to talk in person and he told me that I am passive and shy and I also do not have a lot of experience when it comes to relationships. He said he felt as if he had to be careful around me because of this. I told him that he doesn't have to feel that way because I can handle anything. I'm not a delicate little flower. Before he decided to break up with me a couple of weeks before he told me that he loved me (on his birthday to be exact). If he told me he loved me then why would he break up with me? We said that we can stay as friends. I love him and a part of me is hopeful.

Sorry you are going through that. Sounds like you are really hurt right now. I understand how it feels.

Your post was written two days ago.

Hope am not late.

How are you feeling now??

@Alien1242
Hi! I'm sorry to hear you're going through something like this. Relationships are really difficult, espescially if you want them to last forever. It's two different people with different needs trying to make all the puzzle peices fit. Sometimes they don't, no matter how hard you try. You have to remember you are whole and complete in yourself!
But it seems like you two are still nice and friendly, and can still enjoy each other's company as friends. Use this time to try to become the best you you can be, not for them, but for yourself! Maybe with time you'll be together again, and maybe you'll be just as happy apart. Be patient with yourself as you grow, change, and heal!

@Alien1242 The only advice I would consider offering is to take it slow -- no matter what you decide to do. Yes, it will be hard to see one another and leaving again afterwards, but as another person suggested, there is a reason the two of you separated. Perhaps you need to consider whether you truly love him or if you love the comfort of him. You two were together every day for three years. You lived together, you two are used to eachother. The unknown can be scary. It is kind of like that saying, "the evil you know is better than the evil you don't". You know what to expect from one another so there is a level of comfort with one another than you may be longing for moreso than true longing to be back together.

Every relationship has its ups and downs. This is completely normal. The progression of a healthy relationship, however, is the ability to look at one another when the storm subsides and seeing an even stronger united front between the two of you; a stronger commitment to one another. You might consider asking yourself whether you would be able to trust that he would still be there when things get difficult. He broke up with you at least once (which is the topic of conversation now), so would you be able to trust that he would still be by your side if things got tough again? For example, would you be able to trust that if you needed him, he would be there? If there is even a moment of doubt that he would be there, you might consider whether you deserve more from a partner.

Perhaps think about the qualities you want in a partner. The answer cannot be "I want him." Think about the qualities you want in someone. For example, I want someone who is encouraging, committed, uplifting, inspiring, funny, caring, and kind. Someone who will tell me that I can achieve my goals no matter how big the goal is and support me through and through. I want someone who will listen to me when I am upset about something and offer some insight or perspectives I had not considered. I want someone who I know, without question, will still be by my side no matter how ugly, complicated, or stressful things get These are only examples. Think about the qualities you want, but more importantly, what you deserve in a partner.

I am by no means suggesting that you end things with him. That is your decision to make. I am, however, suggesting that you take things slow no matter what the two of you do. I have found, personally, that when someone gives up on me, I have difficulty trusting them again. This may not be a concern or consideration for you. This is just my experience. I have certainly had my share of separations -- one of them after two children and ten years together -- but that does not mean this will ultimately be your outcome.

You need to do what is best for you. Admittedly, I would hate to see you holding out hope for something that may never come to pass. That being said, I would also hate to see you give up on something/someone that is meaningful to you. This is why I suggest moving slowly and taking everything with caution. If you two do get back together, things will not be the same. They may be better or they may be worse. I would suggest having a candid conversation with him about what you both want from the relationship. This may help the two of you to remedy any issues you need to address before diving back into a relationship with one another. This will also help the two of you talk about any expectations you may have of the other and determine how the two of you will accomplish making one another happy and sustaining a healthy relationship.

I wish you the best of luck!