Horrible breakup. I need advice.
Hey guys.
So, my s.o. and I have been together for 4 1/2 years, living together for over 2 years. She is my everything and I love her so dearly, you can't even imagine.
But we have had more fights lately than usual and I have been afraid of losing her for a while now. This morning, she told me that she can't do this anymore and that she wants to break up. It was the classic "it's not you, it's me" talk.
I feel so incredibly hurt and I am in so much pain right now. I love her more than life itself and she told me she loves me back, but that she doesn't think this relationship is right. Of course I respect her decision. I want her to be happy, with or without me. But I am so heartbroken right now, I don't know what to do. I hope that someday she will take me back, but I won't try to pressure her into anything.
I just need advice on how to get through this. This is my first breakup. I am in so much pain and I don't know how to deal with it. I have been sitting on the bed and crying my eyes out for the last 3 hours, I feel so lonely and hurt. Please help me.
@Notaherojustagirl break ups are tough i am sorry she ended it it will get better with time if you distract your self or maybe try writing in a journal Good luck.
@Notaherojustagirl
Hey,I understand what you are going through, breakups are never easy. I appreciate that you have shared your issue on the forum and you reaching out. It is indeed a difficult phase and no matter what you do, it may seem like this phase will never end, especially for such a long term relationship. It takes a lot of time to move on from that. I can see much you must have loved her, you still want her to be happy which is a good thing to hear, even when you are going through such a hard phase.
In my opinion, give yourself time, it is okay to be sad and cry over it because you did love her afterall. Do what you like/enjoy doing and invest time in yourself cause you deserve all the care too, don't be harsh on yourself because you deserve better than that for yourself. We don't know what will happen in future or how she feels later, all we can do is focus on the time now, she has currently made her decision, if you feel you can communicate with her do so or else give both yourself and her some time to think over it. Hope you feel better soon, take care of yourself ! <3
I am really sorry that you're going through this. I am also going through a break-up but it's not my first. There is no easy way to say this, but it's going to hurt for a while. There's nothing that will make the pain go away. Definitely not drugs or alcohol, they only make things way way worse.
You're going to go through many stages of loss; denial, depression, etc. No one ever says this but the rough thing is you have to bear down and just grit your way through it. Nothing really helps, things can only distract you. Only time will help this. I'm so so sorry you're going through this, as its never easy. Reach out to your friends and family because being alone and closing yourself off only makes it worse. I agree, start a journal. Write everything down. Watch comedies. Start a hobby. These won't fix everything, but they can help distract you. Let yourself be hurt, and know that it is okay to be hurt. It's sort of a hazing process that life likes to throw at us to make us stronger.
Lastly, it is sooo cheesy, but it will get better. You will start to think about her less and less. And some days you will. But eventually, you will feel less hurt by it. It literally is a wound/cut. It hurts a ton in the beginning but over time it does begin to heal. Stay in these chat rooms, talk it out. Everything's going to be okay, I promise.