How Do I Move On?
My 4years LDR relationship ended recently and I cannot seem to let go. He cheated on me with his colleague and his exact words for the break up was 'Serene, please don't call me anymore. My gf is upset'. At that time, my whole world came crumbling. Being an introvert, it was extremely hard for me to open to someone and when I let him walk into my world, I just wanted to feel loved and spend more time with him. When he got together with her, I found a significant difference of him. He sounded bored talking to me and will never find the time to come visit me.
During that 4months of period (him cheating), I was the only one initiating the conversation and struggling to make the relationship work. I wanted to go visit but he didn't let me, saying he'll come to me but never a definite time. As time passed, I started losing hope and I wanted to breakup but he didn't let me saying he will make up to me. After the breakup, I asked him why he led me on and he said it's because he was at fault and wanted to be the one who initiate the breakup and wants to do it face-to-face. I questioned him why didn't he come to me sooner because I was walking on tightrope and was I not worth his time to do so? He said if he were to come over to me, his gf would want to follow then his family would know all about him cheating.
Despite our 4years, the 1st 2years that we were together, he wanted to reconcile with his ex and I found out. I was heart broken but I let him sweep me off my feet and I forgave him. And last night, he posted a photo of them together (after 1month of our break) and I broke down. I was so heart broken and felt like I didn't mean anything to him. He easily erased me and moved on while I'm here still hurting and crying. Also, he's my first love. So it is more difficult for me. I want to know how do I let go and move on. I feel so vulnerable and it's eating me up. Please help me. Thank you.
I'd like to start with a quote:
"How do you begin? The answer is simple: you decide to."
Anne Lamott
This is a situation of a broken heart result. You already said how hard you tried.
The real point of this is: Do you want spend the rest of your life thinking about it and feel bad because it ended that way? Or do you want to keep it as an old good memory and move on?
True love is hard to be found and harder to lose it, but we should be true about one thing. Human spirit can handle much more than that, so because of this you have the power to stand up and move on. In addition, rejection is part of life, we should accept that as a natural thing and understand it.
Don't forget that dealing with lost or victory can open all doors of self-improvements, self-loved etc.. making you a better person, more confident and secure.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this, and it'll make you stronger for it soon. Just know that none of what happened was your fault and for someone to treat you in such a terrible way has no reflection on your true worth, but a reflection on the immaturity and lack of respect for others that your ex has. And remember you don't have to accept less than happiness in any future relationships. Best of luck on your road to recovery.
How do I move on from my fears is to stay positive !!
