How can you even begin to heal
Today is the first fill day after the breakup, and wow I feel empty. When I think there are no more tears to cry somewhere from inside feels like sharp pain and i begin to sob again. I knew I wouldn’t hear from him today, and I did change a picture on one of my social media pages to a skyline of the last time we were together last night when I couldn’t sleep a wink. I honestly didn’t think he’d care or notice but some part of me wanted to keep something to remind me of Him. Instead I woke up to a like from him for the picture when we have been fighting about social media constantly because he doesn’t ever like or say anything about the pictures I post like he used to but does for everyone else. I saw it and it felt like my heart was ripped out. I had to go through my phone and hide every picture of Him, us and our time together. I don’t want to delete them but i just can’t see it. The sad part is as I was scrolling through I had to start hiding pictures of me that he wasn’t even there for that made me think of conversations or things happened that day the picture was taken. 3000 pictures later I feel more lost that I’ll never feel better. I also noticed ad time went on how many inspirational quotes I was taking pictures of because I was heart broken in the relationship, and now I wonder why I even care but I do so much. I wish I could fast forward a week Or so, maybe things wouldn’t feel so impossible, I sure hope things improve.
@kindLime9521
I understand it's hard. Thank you for sharing. Talking is a good thing, especially when it's so difficult. It is hard and natural, and it's not your fault, and you're doing a good job. Each day is a new day. Some day will be a day when you notice something that is not bad, something that feels … ok. Something that doesn't hurt. That won't be the whole day, but it will be a part, a tiny bit to remind you that you will carry on. You are still here.
You are not alone. Thank you for continuing to share.
When it happened to me, I came on this site everyday to tell my stories to listeners to feel a bit better. I tried to find activities that he hated to do and that I stopped doing while I was with him and started to practice them like crazy. I sent all of his emails and photos to my sister so I would get them back only when I was ready. And most importantly, I deleted him and his friends from all of my social media accounts. That's really, really important. If you can go to someone's house for a few days and give him/her your phone so you don't look at it, I guarantee you will heal sooner. Take care.
@carambole
All good advice. Thoughtful and caring. Pragmatic and useful. An excellent example of good care and a good reason to keep sharing here. There is good in the world.
