How to Know If Your Partner is ‘Quiet Quitting’ Your Relationship (Part 1: Identify the signs)

The first two months of 22-year-old Harshit Prajapati’s relationship when he was 18 felt straight out of a romance novel — from going on regular dates and having profound conversations to finding ways to make each other feel special, it felt like he had met his soul mate.

All that changed when he had to move to a different city for higher studies. Conversations between him and his partner began to feel like WhatsApp status updates: brief and lacking in intimacy.

“There was an overarching feeling that we might not be able to sustain the relationship because of the distance,” Prajapati, a fashion student, told VICE. “I did try to talk to my partner to understand what could be done to make the relationship work.”

He was reassured by his partner that there was nothing to worry about and that everything was hunky-dory. But each time Prajapati suggested making travel plans, doing outdoor activities together or finding ways to keep the relationship alive, while his partner would nod, he would do nothing towards making actual plans.

In hindsight, Prajapati’s partner was “quiet quitting” their relationship or when one or both partners do just the bare minimum to ensure that the relationship stays afloat without breaking up with each other. Also referred to as “quiet dumping,” the concept is similar to quiet quitting one’s job where one does just what one is paid to do – nothing more and nothing less – to avoid job burnout.

The idea of quiet quitting in relationships is reportedly attributed to *** comedy creator Daniel Hentschel in his now-viral satirical video. “Quiet quitting in a relationship, or ‘quiet dumping,’ is when your partner chooses only to do the bare minimum required to date you without you breaking up with them… they’ve totally lost interest, but they don’t want to be the one to break it off. They are showing up every day for you, but they’re not really showing up,” Hentschel says in the clip.

According to psychiatrist Era Dutta, “If you’re in an unfulfilling relationship and [have been] quietly dumped, you will question yourself and wonder who is to blame. This stifles your personal growth and adversely affects your mental health in a society where there is still a reluctance to sign up for couple’s therapy.”

“For any relationship to last, there needs to be acceptance and growth,” said Nahid Dave, a psychotherapist and psychiatrist.

Dave added that in a digital world where just video calls and chats tend to suffice and where the need to be physically present is no longer the prerequisite for building connection, it’s becoming even harder to identify when one’s partner is doing the bare minimum.

Source: https://www.vice.com/en/article/jgp9k3/relationships-dating-breaking-up-quiet-quitting-dumping

Have you faced this behavior from your partner before? How did you cope with it?

#Quitting #Breakups #Relationships

Read Part 2: What to do about it: here!