How to leave?

@Thomas123456789

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

I am from a very strict upbringing, as a child I was only allowed to be seen not heard (This must had been very hurtful and painful to experience. All children want to be heard, seen, loved and understood, and without a child tends to go through such hardships) all my childhood and my teens I was never allowed to be myself (It's like this fear of "If im myself then something bad may happen or i might be rejected", you probably endured a lot of disconnection with the self) unless I did it behind my parents backs (which I did) (I could see why you would do this, it was your only way to be yourself) i was always brought up with the mind set ‘once ur married u can NEVER divorce (This can be a quite tough beliefs to follow, it does seem they are projecting their own limited self belief and bad decisions on you) so I thought I finally met the right man, who was going to take me around the world, told me I would never have to work (This seems to me like the type of a man who wants the woman to stay at home while he works) and I can be myself and he will always support my dreams.

At first my parents did approve of this guy, for once in my life I put my foot down and said I will marry him no matter what u think!

So 4 months later we were married and my dream world came down when I slowly started realising he cant give me what he had promised. (Its like being awaken from a dream to realize how the other person truly is, and it was probably a difficult thing to experience)

I am always very unhappy and depressed, iv been to Therphy and told him many times how I feel, he keeps saying Im being a drama and I should just get on with life. (Your feelings, needs, wants and self are very important, and they should definetly be validated. I feel like you are not being a drama, he is minimizing how you feel and not taking the time to communicate with you to see where you are coming from)

i have told my parents I am unhappy but they are refusing to let me come home as I fought with them to marry him, (This definetly sounds like you tried to seek their support and love, but they behave on a hostile way. Your parents come across to me as passive-agressive, they use revenge tactics when others don't what they want which is very manipulate of them to do) I have no idea where to go or how to process a divorce! (It depends on where you live because of how they have their own laws, but you can achieve the divorce with some resources) I am driving myself into mental illnesses, I am unable to get out of bed and unable to sleep at night, I cry all day and cant eat. (Sorry to hear you are going through this, its like feeling this huge disconnection and not being able to be in control of the situation. It's normal the way you feel after not feeling supported by family and your husband. I want you to know there's a way and hope as well, but it definetly starts with researching and taking action.)

You can have an initial consultation with a lawyer and theyll let you know what you should do and how much it will cost. Then you can plan it out if you dont have the money available right away. You can stay with a friend. The point is, if you dont get out of a marriage that youve realized is a mistake then youll have to spend a LIFETIME with them. Your parents, friends, whomever will eventually understand but the most important thing is your happiness. Be brave, youll survive.

I did and I have zero regrets.