Husband 34 is fantasising my niece
He wants me to not tell them that he is interested in one of them. And want me to respect him. He also want me to help him out with giving good words to them and he doesn't see it as disrespectful. Am I doing the right thing by agreeing to not tell them? Is that a predatory action on his part? I feel like I need to warn my nieces they are friends with him and I am disgusted knowing he is fantasising about my nieces. Is that normal? Is this a normal 30+ y/o male mind set? What should I do? He have told me in a creepy way that they all look so pretty 🤮🤢 and would want to marry one of them.
@goldenPlum3515
Safety first. If they are children they need to be informed. Again if they are children he needs to go voluntarily to seek professional help. Let someone help decide his intentions. If he voluntarily seeks help it should not impact his life. Don't guess...It could be unsafe. I'm sorry I won't help other than to say this needs professional services.
@RealityCzech thank you. I will definitely warn them. It's hard because he made me promise to not tell them so he can have a chance. He said that his intentions is good he wants to bring her here in America and help the family. But it's still gross.
@goldenPlum3515
No promise is expected to be kept if it harms others. He will understand that if he is a good man. My heart goes with you on this journey. It will be rough no matter what and I hurt knowing you have to face it. You don't have to face it alone. There are those here and elsewhere who have strong shoulders for you to lean on.
@RealityCzech think you so much this group have made me realize a lot of thing Ioverlook I. This marriage. And I greatly appreciate it. I am so lucky I found this group.
@goldenPlum3515
You are more than welcome.
@goldenPlum3515 in that scenario you don't have to play a role of wife only, if you see deep inside it you have three roles here-
1) a role of wife
2)a role of an aunt
3) on the top of everything a role of a "woman"
And neither of any role allows you to listen to him when you know he is completely wrong, and disrespecting you by saying all this. As an aunt it's your responsibility to save your teenager niece from any kind of trouble. Plus as a woman it should be your priority to warn other women/girls for any such thing which could harm them. But be careful while revealing your husband's intentions to your niece, probably she won't trust you. But you shouldn't leave her in trouble make sure you handle everything with patience and maturity
@reservedNorth6326 thank you! Everyone of you who have commented have help me make the decision of warning them I am messaging them one by one telling them of his intentions. You guys are right, me trying to be understanding, pittying him and loving him have blinded mennn how could I let my niece who I help raise be put in danger by this man. Who act that he have all the good intentions. I am following what my heart has been telling me and everyone of you guys have back me up.