I Betrayed Him
I hurt my boyfriend/best friend over my selfish need.
I was really strapped for cash and seriously needed gas. He's had $100 of cash from when I paid him to go on a trip. That was paid a month prior. I used $10 of it and was going to pay it back the next day. I never told him.
Thursday he was all calm and hung up my love letter on the fridge I made at work. He then confronts me about the money. Immediately confessed. Rightfully, he broke up with me for going behind his back without talking to him. I immediately went to the bank and put the money in the mailbox. We haven't spoken since.
I am sick to my stomach and wish I could make things right. How can anyone move on knowing you were the cause of betrayal?
@84Qwerty84
The way you've explained this, his reaction does seem a bit extreme. I guess it's about trust, and the fact you hadn't spoken to him about it. Did you have the opportunity to I wonder? So much in relationships is about communication. You knew your intentions were good and honest...he appears to doubt that. Are you able to speak to him, without recrimination or anger - and calmly explain what happened, yet you now understand this was not acceptable to him?
I understand you're hurting, but try not to kick yourself too hard for your part in this. It seems to me his reaction is more about trust than anything else, and that works both ways in a relationship. I sincerely hope you guys can sort this out, and move on with a clearer understanding of boundaries in your relationship.
@DeborahUK It was all calm and cordial. Even hugged before I left. I told him that I even donated plasma to put it back.
Trust is a big deal to him. He never could say that he loved me or that I was his girlfriend until that night of disappointment. Which made it even more hurtful.
I wish I could call him and say that I feel as if I have hit rock bottom by hurting him (job and finances were weighing me down in many of our discussions). We're still friends on two sites, and I can't help but look at his walls. Not healthy, so I have been going to the gym already and had the best luck in scheduling a psychologist Friday (tried before, and they took like a month before).
Just want a reset button.
@84Qwerty84
Well good on you for being proactive with the gym and psychology appointment.
I understand it can be hard to stay positive and motivated at times, so massive credit to you!