I Was Only Trying To Be Honest

Hi everyone,

I am new and this is my first post.

My husband and I are currently living apart due to communication issues and family issues. We recently moved to Florida from Louisiana and my husband stayed behind to sell our house in Louisiana while my boys and I came to live with my brother-in-law and his wife. My husband is military and so is my brother-in-law, so we felt super lucky that we were all stationed in the same place. 

Before the move, my husband and I were already experiencing problems. He was obsessed with video games and was barely helping me with the kids. It was exhausting. He and his brother are twins. So, while I lived with his brother, I developed an infatuation for him. I was a little flirty with him but never acted on my feelings other than that. It was a confusing time and I was mentally unwell. I should have started seeing a counselor sooner, but waited until I got the boys settled. Well, right before my husband moved to join us, I had a panic attack where I was hyperventilating and my hands seized up. It was very scary. After I calmed down, I told my sister-in-law that I had been projecting onto her husband and found him attractive. She said that she found my husband attractive because he looks like her husband. My husband and his brother are twins. 

Anyway, I thought she understood what I was saying. i also addressed it with my brother-in-law and no one said anything else about it.

Well, in May 2024, I decided to be honest with my husband and told him about the infatuation. The infatuation had been over with for over a year. It only lasted maybe two months. I told him I had projected onto his brother and was infatuated with him. My husband surprisingly took it well. He understood my reasons which were I felt taken care of, which was lacking in my relationship at the time. 

I went out of town for Memorial Day, and when I came back, I got a message from sister-in-law saying she had suspected I had been romantically pursuing her husband for a while. There were some other things that happened and I ended up telling her if there was something she felt uncomfortable with to come talk to me face-to-face because we had some issues with things being said the "telephone" way and things got mixed up and misunderstood. Well, once again, I found out through a text rather than face-to-face. She had never mentioned anything about this. Also, my husband knew she was going to say something and didn't tell me, so I felt betrayed by him. He didn't protect me. 

My sister-in-law also told him I came onto her husband which was not true. There are three kids involved and I would never want to hurt them in any way. She said I did not explain it in that way. I guess meaning I didn't use infatuation, but projected. 

I have since moved out because my husband doesn't make me a priority and calls her his friend. It just seems pointless. I have been up and down with anger and depression. And also grieving the loss of a friendship. It has been hard. Thank you for reading this far. 

I just felt like I was trying to be honest, but ended up being the one punished.