I am SO confused now
I divorced my husband in October of 2018. We separated in 2017. There were a lot of issues and he was cheating. He has maintained he only internet cheated on me never physically but I found a bra in our house so I kicked him out. We went thru so much together in the 9 years we were actively married. He lived with another woman for a while and I tried dating a couple other men. Neither of us got anywhere. I am a Christian he is not. He is now living with a new girlfriend and told me he is confused bc he still thinks about me all the time and he thinks he is happy with her but can't get me off his mind. I thought I was over him and ready to move on with someone new. I have felt physically ill the past 2 weeks since I found out he moved in with her and have thrown up every day also having migraines worse than my normal ones I suffer from. I know it is emotional stress. I am praying about what to do. He says he will give it more time to see if his feelings grow for her and make it work. I told him I want him to be happy with her. I want him to be happy bc I really do. I am so confused. I don't think we could ever have a future again. How could I ever trust him? He has moved on. I told him last summer I didn't want it to work out when He did. I just don't know what to do now to get my emotions back under control and feel better. Sorry for the long post!!!! Thank you for your feedback!
@QueenJesster
We are all different in our needs and expectations from relationships. His internet cheating, the woman he lived with for a while and the fact that he is telling you he thinks of you all the time when he has moved in with a woman he is happy with - all point to the way he does relationships.
I guess in 9 years you know enough about him to be see that there is no future together. Even though you know you don't want a relationship with him, it isn't easy to just turn off emotions. Emotions and memories take their time to work through your system until you can choose which ones to keep, which ones to forget. To deal with the physical and emotional shock it sometimes helps to just allow yourself some space away from the source. Is it possible for you to just avoid him for a while until you're feeling okay?
I hope you feel better soon, sending wishes your way :)
@0m
I wish I could avoid him. Since we have a child together he is a some what there on again off again father. If I had given him the chance he would have gotten back with me before he was with this other woman this past summer. I feel like I don't know with him what is truth and what is lies anymore. I thought I knew him and then this cheating thing came out and it was like he was a total stranger. I don't even know him. Like I didn't know him like I thought I did. So now I want to avoid him and I can't really. I have tried to be nice for our child's sake but there is a part of me that wants to just be mad. So I think because he feels like a stanger it's almost weird to hear him say he still thinks about me, like why? You didn't want me for so long then I want to end it and NOW you change your mind? Idk if he is having cold feet or what with this woman. And even though I don't want a relationship with him I don't know why NOW I'm so sick. I wasn't when I knew he was living with the other woman. I knew about all that. Why is it bothering me NOW? It is bc he says now he wants me back AND he is with this woman and I feel guilty that he is kinda cheating on her by thinking about me? I don't want to be the other woman, even if it's only in his thoughts. I've been on the receiving end of that pain and I don't wish that on anyone
