I broke no contact...

@SadBlueCrab because you like the majority of people have a "heart", you feel. Only extremely strong persons or insensitive heartless persons can end smth without closure or hurting...many of us went through what you are going now...i feel you and you are not alone🤗

It is always helpful to establish closure, I can understand, closure is the end of an end and opens a knew beginning, its good for the thought process. Sadly in this instance, your closure was not reciprocated, that is not your fault, we are not responsible for other peoples actions. Do not feel rejected, just because he did not respond you did learn that he did not respect you enough to respond, this should also be part of your closure. People who make us feel like rubbish should not be allowed to enter our thought space, you learned your closure did not matter to him, now, he does not matter to you. It is good, move on and explore new starts. @SadBlueCrab

@SadBlueCrab

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

So, after almost two months of no contact. I broke the promise I made to myself of not contacting him anymore...(This can be one of the toughest things to experience because of the internal conflict between contacting him or not, and then a lot of emotions tend to be involved in this decision) I think I needed to have some kind of closure, but it didn't work. (I could see why you needed closure when deep down you felt as if something was not over yet while at times grieving the lost relationship) I sent him a message and told him that I understood that nobody can make their hearts feel what they don't feel. Told him that even though I think he could have handled things better I didn't hold any grudges. I also told him that I knew we would never see each other again, but I'll always remember him and pray for his happiness. (This message seems very toughtful and caring of you, I can see you did it with best intention in mind) He didn't answer, I don't know what was I expecting for him to say, but I thought he could say something and I'll be able to close this chapter of my life forever. (Your intentions were the best, but I get the impression you were looking to connect with him, expecting something may happen or for the message to cause a certain reaction. It's unfortunate he didn't respond to your message, it must had really hurt not receiving what you were looking for) I guess I'll still close this chapter, but wanted for him to at least acknowledge my attempt for closure. (It's totally understandable you wanted him to acknowledge, you tried the best you could, but the closure message you sent is something where you can't expect a response) I once again feel rejected and stupid. (You are not stupid at all, you did what you thought was best in your situation and it must had taken a lot of courage and bravery to send such a thoughful message. It's okay to feel the rejection, it really hurts not getting that closure you were hoping for. I do hope you don't reach out first again though, he doesn't deserve it) I just don't know why I keep exposing myself to the pain. :/ (I feel like what you are looking to ease the hurt, pain, anxiety, sadness, logging and missing by doing this, but remember the only person who can do this is you. You would have been in the same position as now if he had reply because this closure is something you can achieve through here, having support from friends and family, and perhaps going to therapy)

@SadBlueCrab There are a couple of ways to interpret this, I think.

Sometimes you just need to let it out. You just need it to be out there, to be SEEN, etc. Maybe you didn't get a response, but it was more important that you got it out there. Maybe you broke your own promise but whatever.

The other interpretation is that no answer is an answer. It may not have been the closure that you WANTED but in its own way it is it's own type of closure.

Hope this helps. I can relate and it will get better.

I'm kinda going through this, also ... I had a friend (or someone I thought was a friend) who abruptly ghosted me, and his birthday is coming up on Friday. I'm still gonna send him a birthday greeting because I promised him that I wouldn't forget it when we were still friends, but I'm sadly not gonna expect a reply (and quite frankly, I'm quite over expecting one from him).

I will likely not show much emotion giving him the greeting and won't put the kind of effort into it that I would normally do, but that's how it is. That will be my only attempt to reconnect ... and if it doesn't happen, I will do my best to keep moving forward and not beat myself up over it.

I hope all of you struggling over broken relationships will find the strngth and peace to move forward.