I dont know if my marriage would survive 12 months...

Communication. Compromise. Selfishness. First, I am not a marriage therapist, but I have friends who are. I am currently working in the mental health and pediatric field, so I don't normally see couples. I know everyone is different, but there are characteristics of ALL healthy relationships that span all nations, cultures, and people. You can do it, and you can do it with him. I feel that everyone slips in communication, it's hard to overcome our pride and expose ourselves ... even when in love. Breakdown in communication is just a symptom of other problems, but you can address those later by repairing this bridge. It's hard to say, "I feel this way ..." Quick suggestion, next time you get in a fight, try and only use "I" sentences. Express yourself by only saying, "I think ..." or "I feel ..." or "I understand where you are coming from, but I ..." Simple little exercise to focus on yourself, takes stress off the other person, as well as yourself. Compromise is also very difficult, and it's why people die alone in their beds ... they don't want to compromise. We expect a lot out others, but sometimes fail to hold ourselves to the same standard? I do it, you do it, she does it, and he does as well. But we can always find a middle ground, right? Another quick tip for arguements that turn sour ... don't argue over facts! "You did that!" "No, I did this, because I wanted it that way!" Try discussing core issues, the roots of problems, and then you can come down to real compromise and settlement. It's hard to do that, because our memories and emotions definitely get in the way. But if you want to talk about relocating, changing work, expences, etc ... talk about pros and cons, benefits, opportunities, and future goals. Selfishness is the bane of all marriages. My friend told me this cute story about his parents one time. They were struggling, like all couples, great and small. The father decided to do something simple yet effective. Everytime he did anything for himself, he would do so for his wife. For example, if he got some water? He'd get some for his wife. Make some popcorn. Some for the wife as well. Wash his clothes, and hers as well. Everything for him, he would do for her! Sounds kind of silly, even annoying, but it worked. I like that concept. It helps us overcome our selfish tendencies, which are counterproductive in relationships. Selfishness does not work in a marriage, because marriage is ALL about giving everything. You cannot think, "Oh, I spent this, so I will get this in return." Give everything, and everything is returned. I hope that helps, I feel that marriage is a hope. Right? Because you hope they don't take you and ruin it all ... you hope and love and love more :)