I feel crazy. I don’t feel like myself.
I’m 20 years old. My now ex boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me a week ago. I have reasons to leave it be, plenty. He broke up with me multiple times, like 3 times that lasted more than a few days. He cheated on me. Constantly put me down. Didn’t appreciate I bought him his first car then helped him buy his 2nd one. He made me just feel truly bad when I think about it. Yet I find myself wishing he chased me or begged for me back. I find myself literally dropping everything and finding him in person, to talk. I’m not even sure what I want to talk about. I wish he begged me I wish I could see him suffer over me. But he seems perfectly fine. In fact it seems like he’s just going to casually start meeting up with new females. Why do I feel so crazy for someone who has done me so wrong? Why do I feel hope for a relationship that has turned me into someone I don’t want to be?
(Edited by @CheeryMango to remove expletives)
@blueflower999 it’s crazy because I’m going through the exact same thing. Also 20, also helped purchase a car and put a roof over my girlfriends head, our relationship was going to be 3 years in December, and I’m finally getting the strength to walk away after being mistreated and emotionally abused to no end. She seems to be just fine. Has an “idc” mentality and has no problem talking to other people meanwhile I can barely eat. But I’m definitely proud of myself for finally standing up and putting my foot down. And I’m proud of you too. This is the beginning of a new era, a new feeling. And that is OKAY. We don’t have to magically stop loving them, we just have to start this dreadful process by loving ourselves. It’s even harder being the holidays are around the corner, but like I said, it’s the beginning of a lifetime ahead of us, of bigger, better things & people who value us.
