I feel defeated...

I have recently decided that I no longer want to be in the marriage that I am in.
A little bit of background... Dated for 2 years, been married for 5. Not once did I ever check his phone while dating. First time I did was the night of our wedding, thats the first time I found out he was talking to other people, also had plans to leave me.
He was talking to men. I confronted him about it & he gave me a story saying he just felt really confused & didnt know if he was interested in men or not but he didnt want to loose me. I was really naive & felt compelled to be there for him. After all, trying to figure out your sexuality is a big deal. I told him if he wanted to get it annulled so he can figure himself out we could. No hard feelings. He said no, that I was definitely what he wanted & promised to stop. I believed him.
Months later, hes back on the same apps. Gave me the same story... I fell for it. I didnt wanna leave him just cause he was having issues liking men. I felt I needed to be there for him & accept him.
Then men turned to women. He started creating new emails. Lied to me ALOT. Got on all sorts of apps and websites & each time, I forgave him.
I loved him so much that I didnt want to leave. Not realizing that every time I forgave him, I loved him a little less.
His excuse was, well I havent physically done anything so its not cheating.
He took time away from me and the children to be on the apps to talk to other people. Instead of making love to me he would go on the apps & fantasize about having sex with them. He sent videos, pictures, talked in webcams and FaceTimed. In my opinion, thats definitely cheating.
The last straw was when I left to Philly for a week & he made plans to bring a girl over to our house & do the deed. I found out, texted the girl and she (thankfully) sent me everything.
I told him I wanted a divorce. He acted like I was selfish for wanting out. For breaking up our family. For not giving him another chance. He quit talking to girls but was still talking to men since I was always understanding of that aspect of his life. I never liked it & made sure he knew it but I compromised because I blindly loved him.
Hes been fighting me on the divorce for about a year now. Ive become really cold hearted towards him. I ended up cheating on him back in May. I met a guy who I guess said all the right things. Made me feel special. So I did something never in my life I would think Id do. Completely devastes me. I cant even look at him in the eye without feeling absolute shame & disgust with myself. I keep wondering how he could do that to me for 7 years and everyday say he loved me. I cant wrap my head around it. I told him what happened, that I slept with the dude.
That apparently sparked something in him. He told me that he was wondering how much damaged and hurt did he do to me for me to get to that point. Hes changed a bit. Listens more to me, deleted all his stuff and hasnt been back on it (supposedly), & its trying to be the husband he shouldve been in the beginning.
It wasnt just the cheating that was bad, the way he spoke to me was nasty & he realizes that now. He hasnt been a good father to the kids either & hes trying now and for that Im thankful. I still dont want him tho. He wont accept it. He says if I gave 5years to a complete pos why cant I give the good guy that he is now another 5. I forgave him but Im not over it. Im never gonna trust him. Im never gonna look at him the same & neither is he with me even tho he says he forgives me about me cheating.
Its such a toxic relationship. I moved out in April but every time I see him, I melt. I cant help it. Its like, I forget all our problems & just want to be with him but then anger and sadness over comes me & Im back to not wanting him. He had people lined up to be with him as soon as he leaves me. Hes been posting on Facebook about our problems and his inbox is full of girls. The issue is he replied to each one. Says hes just a friendly guy... he says hes never gonna stop fighting for me & that hes different now.
Heres my issue, during all this stuff going on, I met someone. The man of my dreams. Who is in a similar situation that I am in but still manages to treat me right. He is the completely opposite of my husband. My husband is about to be a convicted felon & continues to do stuff that is against the law knowing dang well that if he ever gets caught it will hurt our children so I dont allow my children to be in his house anymore.
The new guy, a cop. Army values. A complete gentlemen. Whos having a baby with another woman tomorrow... his ex wife. She was pregnant before I came along so it is what it is.
I could really see myself having a future with this man... the thing is, idk if I feel this way because I really do want him & might be falling for him or if its because were both in a hard situation that us being there for eachother has made us fall for eachother. Like, the light in the darkness type of thing. He really does make me happy & I him.
But I still melt when Im around my husband. Idk how to get away from him.
Idk what to do. I feel defeated because my marriage situation has forced me to move back into my moms place & getting a place of my own its not a possibility at the moment since Im leaving for the military...
Im defeated cause I feel like Im gonna end up back with my husband in a relationship that I absolutely hate. Unhappy, unappreciated, unloved. Just cause I dont want to hurt his feelings. Hes an absolute mess now. He understands the error of his way and is really trying to get me back. He breaks down every time I reject his kisses, when I tell him not to touch me, when I reject his dates. I dont want to keep hurting him but he wont let me go...
What do yall think?

Sorry for the long post.