I love my boyfriend but I want to break up with him

@rosebaby765

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would to point out;

I've been with my first boyfriend now for about 9 months, and we are going to the same university together in our first year (we met in high school). Anyways, lately I've felt unfulfilled in the relationship which is strange because he treats me so well, loves me so hard, and would do anything to make me happy. (This tells me He is more into you, than you are into him, so this is going to turn you off. I believe he is also doing too much as a way to make up for what he lacks inside, there's some insecurities he has been displaying, would probably put his own happiness last, and has display behaviors or said things that is probably making you feel suffocated or overwhelmed). We are best friends and I feel comfortable with him, but I'm worried that's the problem. (Hmmm, It's interesting how you mentioned the words "Best Friends", but not "We are romantic partners", this could be a sign that you are not that attracted to him. Feeling comfortable is essential in any relationship, but it requires more than this.) We have same mutual friends in school, which is why it feels impossible to break up with him. (The mutual friends don't hold any power over you when it comes to this decision, its more like you are afraid of what they would think) It also feels impossible because I'm worried how he will react to the beak up. (he's had a history of depression) (This tells me you are the type who would put other people happiness and needs first all the time without fully thinking how it makes you feel. He might react negatively or positively, but at the end of the day it does more harm staying just because you are afraid how he will react...)

About 2 months ago I told him I wanted a break, (This tells me the relationship lacks the needs for space, which is one of the many reasons it has been going in a down spiral) which lasted for about 4 days because when we all hung out with our friends (This will definetly kill attraction and love at some point, which it would have been important to take a longer break even though you two hang out with the same group of friends) it was too unbearable and awkward so I took him back that night. (I believe this wasn't not a good idea, because you were not ready yet) Also, he just seemed so miserable. (His happiness and well being revolves around you, it shouldn't be like this at all). I was lonely too during that short break, (This was not a good reason end the break, it does communicates that you have a hard time dealing with loneliness or being alone in general) but I also felt a sense of relief when I told people we had broken up? (It's because you gained a sense of freedom) I'm not sure why but I've had this gut feeling of wanting to be single and on my own, (I do believe his behavior, actions, words and the way he shows his love actually pushes you away, and makes you feel smothered at times. I get the feeling you feel pressure when it comes to how he treats you and loves you such as "He loves me this much, Treats me so well, Would do anything for me, but for some reason it pushes me away and it doesn't feel right for me. I wish I could give back all the loves he gives to me, but for some reason I can't".) as he is my first boyfriend and I want to make the most out of college, but I am terrified of losing one of my best friends and breaking his heart in the process. (It's not breaking his heart, it's just theyy are a few things he should work on himself because it's actually killing the feelings and attraction you have for him)I'm so torn about this I can sleep or eat often. Please help ;/