I'm hurting so much..
Well where to start.. I met an amazing man nearly two years ago, we became inseparable within the month he was my boyfriend.. he was everything he still is everything.. we had our ups and downs like normal.. until he put his hands on me for the first time, he said he'd never do it again and every time it got worse.. he never hit me with a closed fist but he has pushed, pulled, grabbed to leave me nasty bruises.. his family knew it and pretty much blamed me for it.. said i changed him and i was responsible for his response to me.. now i always walked away from the problem and called it a night... he always tried to fix things then and there... later on in time the tables turned he ignored me while i tried to fix things.. its been so hard we moved in together and lasted a month.. he hurt me and kicked me out for it.. talked so much trash about me etc.. i still loved him.. i still love him.. lastnight i asked why he still saw me and made love to me.. he looked at me and said it was because it was easy... and said we'd never ever be together again.. i am so heart broken i have never felt this pain before i never expected to be hurt like this... i dont know what to do i hate this feeling it hurts so bad i just cry and cry.. and to is out happy going to las vegas.. while i am here torn apart.. i cant take it anymore... i just cant...
@ItsLadyKatie Please know that he has no excuse for his violence nor his remarks trying to level you down like some kindling for his ego's fire. This guy thinks he can do no wrong, and you gotta try try try to separate yourself from him. He is not giving a dime of love for your dollar. Cut ties, have your provider block his number, get your close friends and family aware of the situation. No one signs up for a relationship checking the box for "abuses me only open hand" nor "makes me feel like I have no value", but the people who abuse those who give them love like he does are looking to be the worst kind of brainwashing manipulators intentionally and the worse you feel the more he feels he's got control thinking that makes him something. Something that hits home with a lot of people is seeing things as if they're happening to another loved one. Like, if I had a daughter, I would be a force to be reckoned with if someone tried that on my beautiful baby. I'm concerned for your safety if you stay under his influence. Reconnect with a support network as much as you can. There are also domestic violence centers where you may be able to find free counseling or support from people who've been in your shoes in your geographical area.
Lastly, some people are not deserving of the love you have to give. I used to treat leaving a partner as if I was abandoning love itself. It's just not true. He doesn't own all that makes you you, including the ability to love. Once you break free from his negative influence you will redefine love and reconnect with it in ways that will make you SOAR. He is clipping your wings. Please keep speaking out and seeking help. You aren't alone in this experience and we all deserve to be free from emotional and physical abuse.
@Nosleeptilbrooklyn beautifully put.
@ItsLadyKatie
You should leave him though it seems he left you. But you should just make it clear you're leaving him as well.
He's a bad guy based on what you've written. He's manipulative, abusive.
You definitely deserve someone better and at some point, some guy who is not a bad guy will come along and like you for you.
You like the guy, clearly. Well, people make mistakes. He made mistakes, you did as well. Realise them and leave.
Stay strong and please take care of yourself.