Immense regret after not taking my ex back.
Over two years ago my ex boyfriend (30) and I (26) were in a 7 year relationship (I was 17-24 years old during this time). Our relationship was cosy and sweet. He was kind, supportive and very devoted to me. After living together for a year, he broke up with me. I was so shocked and devastated but I eventually decided that he did the right thing and it was somewhat empowering knowing that I could get to know myself outside a relationship. We have stayed close friends and I don't want to change this.
He did have major regrets breaking up with me and for two years he begged for me to get back with him. It killed me doing it, but I had to decline his requests to get back together because it just didn't feel right in my gut. Also there were factors that made me concerned about settling with him. After breaking up I realised that like my father, he drank too much and was a workaholic (these were issues in my parents' marriage and also impacted on my childhood a lot). I'd realised that he was very complacent in our relationship and had little interest to go out and do things together as a couple and socialise with people on the weekend so I felt quite unfulfilled and isolated. Also, the level of chemistry between us was quite poor. Understandably couples lose it with time, but I felt almost like we had become so familiar with one another as friends/family, that being intimate with him was almost like being intimate with a brother and it was only until I had sexual experiences outside the relationship that I realised this.
Anyway, 5 months ago he told me that he had met a really special girl. Prior to this happening I was really hoping for this day to come because I cared for him deeply and I knew he wanted to move on and meet someone nice and he finally did. Another bonus was that this girl was totally relaxed and supportive about our close bond.
Unfortunately I did not react as I had expected to. I literally broke down into a deep and dark depressive episode where I was hospitalised and unable to work or leave the bed for a long while and had attempted to take my own life (not because of him, but because the depression and lack of hope was so scary and overwhelming). I couldn't help but remember half way through our relationship I felt it had grown stale but I decided to work at it and the last half of the relationship was really nice for us. This made me think that perhaps all those issues I had focused on when he asked for me back were superficial reasons not to settle with him and that we could have made it work. For example, when he wanted me back he promised to cut down on drinking (I was cynical) and to do more together as a couple, and my parents went through a lot during their marriage and are happy together now.
About 2 months ago I began to come to terms and even happy with him being with another person and I also stabilised and found a new job and felt that I had finally come out the other side of this awful darkness. Anyway, yesterday after a really good day, I took a nap and had this vivid dream of us being back together. I woke up and felt this intense regret for not taking him back last year when he begged me to and I have not been able to control this intense pain since. I admit that I am terribly lonely and miss the companionship that we had. I have also dated a number of guys and every single one of them have been jerks so I feel scared that I will never meet a good man like him again.
I just can't understand whether it was right of me to follow my gut when such intense regret has basically sabotaged my life and I am scared about what my future holds as a single girl who is very romantically inclined and not really impressed by the how men have treated me in the dating world.
Does anyone have any insight which could help me get back into a better frame of mind?
I appreciate your time!
@Annabelle26
Annabelle, I am going to be as cruel as possible for you here. You never want a guy that "begs" for him to come back into your life. It shows a sense of weakness and emotional feeling about him that in my girlfriend's eyes is just a massive turn off. Judging by your attitude, I think you could do a lot better than him, all you have to do is keep your head high and wait for the right time. There's not much you could do if you're in highschool then you go to college, then what? My girlfriend and I had agreed to go to the same college so we can still not have that long distance feeling to it. I am just saying that you should probably wait for someone who you can expect to be with for a long time, and judging just by his actions, I don't believe he's a guy that'll stick long. That's just my P.O.V. I don't mean for this to be just a "Shut up and move on," I just want you to understand that a guy like that doesn't compare to some of the guys I've seen, loyal, respectful, realistic, themselves. Trust me, everybody finds someone they'll love. I have, now it's your turn.
I don't know if what I'm feeling is regret for breaking up with my boyfriend or if I'm afraid to be alone.
I was with my ex for 5 years. He is 14 years my junior. At the start of our relationship I had no idea he was an alcoholic. He hid his drinking from me pulse I was very un-educated as to what alcoholism was. A few months into the relationship he started to binge drink and ended up in the hospital. He said he needs to quit the drinking and needed treatment. I stood by him, took him to his out patient meetings, AA meeting, didn't have any alcohol in the house and I didn't go out with my friends. I wanted to support him in every possible way I could. It was good for 3 months then he hit the bottle again. Our relationship went on like this for about 3 years.
It got to the point that when he would fall off the wagon and start to drink I would tell him to get out . He would then leave sober up and come back home. I would do all the steps as I did before in trying to support his not drinking.
This last time that he drank I told him to leave and he did and I Told him not to come back . When he sobered up we talked and he finally admitted to me that he was tired of trying to be someone hes not .I was heart broken all this time I had been pouring my soul my heart and my energy into supporting a man who he never wanted to be in the 1st place .
What I don't understand is why I am so heartbroken over the ending of our relationship or am I just afraid that I will never find someone and I will be alone
Getting your marriage or relationship problems solve with Dr. Ikhine love spell contact email: agbadado@gmail.com or 0097038832903 reach him today to bring back happiness into your family because he has rescue from my marriage situation with my husband last week here and so much believe in his love spell also believe it will work for you if you contact him today too.
