I’m ruining my relationship
I have been on and off with my ex for 8 years. We have a son together. He has left me for a million reasons but for a few years now it’s because I can’t control myself when he leaves me. I beg him to stay or beg him to talk if he dumps me which is dumb I know. He doesn’t like my family and told me the only way we can work is if I don’t bring up fixing things with them ever again . Just let time fix that. So I agreed not to bring it up. This weekend we got back together after I promised him I’ll never lose control or bring up fixing things with my family . We went to universal with our son and it was amazing. However the last night at universal we decided to have some drinks. I drank more bc I wasn’t driving . We got to car and I blacked out. I then started to bring up my family and apparently say everything I promised him I would never say. I don’t remember any of this. He dumped me. My son was sleeping in the back. I woke up in the back seat on the way home and he was driving. I asked what happened and he said it’s over. I asked him for my park Tickets back that we still Had and he said I don’t deserve them. Instead of ignoring him I kept asking him for them. My son was sleeping but kinda waking up. He told me the fact that I kept asking him for tickets on front of our son sleeping was childish and out of control.. I have issues and I’m the reason we never work. I wish I stayed quiet but I was kinda upset he wouldn’t just give them back. He wants me to control even talking when son is around. I try but he pushes me sometimes and it’s hard. How can I fix issues I have??
I don’t think it’s you who has the issues, it’s him 100%. The fact you guys have been on and off for 8 years shows emotional immaturity on his part, why commit to having a child and not respect the mother enough to either stay put permanently or just leave if you’re not happy. You should be able to tell him what you think/feel and he should respond with respect and a plan to overcome your thoughts, the fact he is so disrespectful to not want to fix things with your family is another big no no. I know it’s easier said than done, but him breaking up with you is an opportunity to start a new lease of life and focus on you, I know it will be difficult but he’s done the hard part, you just need to cut him out and focus on you and your son, then when you’re ready and not going to just jump back into a seemingly toxic relationship with him, you can arrange for him to see your son away from you or with a family member present. You aren’t the one with the issues, this is all his doing, he has made you like this, you don’t deserve it.