Is there something wrong with me
I have been in numerous relationships but no one takes me serious or treats me good.They all just want sex and keep it moving. Little attention.No acknowledgement that I am the girlfriend. When I try to raise the issue they all become defensive and threaten to leave me. At the end of them ghost me leave and never come back with no regret or an apology for the bad treatment they gave me. Now I want to know why is it that most guys want to use me for sex only ana then leave me. I have broken up with someone recently been together for a month now. He used me for sex only and then ghosted me. He claims he didn’t know we were in a relationship and now he has found someone and wants to focus on her. I am heartbroken. Not only by this but by how everyone leaves me for the other woman. They all want to act for the other woman and never for me. Is there something wrong with me. They all look perfect at the beginning and promising me everything good but at the end they all leave to have long term relationships with their new girlfriends whom they love and are proud of.How do I stop this . Please help
@politeSea7898 It's hurtful to get hurt by people repeatedly and have them value you less than you deserve. When you mentioned that the guy said he "didn't know you were in a relationship" that sounds either like gaslighting from his side or miscommunication. I think in order to build up a functional relationship with another person, it's important to have a balance of sexual attraction + love/passion + companionship/feeling understood/relating. It sounds like you've found many people who are attracted to you but aren't meeting you halfway with the other requirements.
Your options would be to either take some time to heal/evaluate your perception of relationships while staying out of the game for a while or set your sights on men who you're friends with that already want you. Regardless of how attractive a person is, making a partnership work takes a lot of patience and cooperation. It takes waiting for someone's actions to match up with their word and giving them the freedom to be themselves instead of who you want them to be. Some questions you could ask yourself, and you don't need to answer them to me but just think on them, would be...
What do other girls do that works in their favor with landing these men? What works in their favor?
What are the signs of a person that's gonna treat you badly?
What can you do to differentiate if a man just want sex or if he wants a relationship? What do you have to offer for him to invest in a relationship? What is he willing to offer you that he actually gives rather than promises?
Do you think your fears of being ignored and left for another woman may be hurting the relationships?
What can you do to work on yourself and improve your self esteem so you can have an easier time filtering people who don't value you from your life?
You're not alone in this and the dating world is absolutely brutal so I completely feel that. Everyone goes through numerous people who don't love or value them till they meet their significant others. I'm sure the girls who they choose had a past with men who didn't value them too. It just takes work to improve at dating/relationships and patience that you'll eventually find someone who really deeply loves and values you. You have your sexual appeal working on your side anyway but it's important to try to utilize multiple tools at your disposal to get what you want.
I hope at least some of what I said resonates and I'm wishing you the best.
