Is this normal for a second husband?
I’m in need of advice: my current husband of 13 yrs has a major issue with me attending events where my ex will also be there. Example is an upcoming grandchild’s school concert. My husband refuses to come with me and is angry at me for wanting to go. He says that I’m choosing my ex over him and that this sort of thing is just “not for him”. I’m completely at a loss as to why he feels this way: and he isn’t able or willing to articulate the root causes.
@Trexmama
I think that behavior might be more expected if the second husband was like a couple years in and feel threatened by your past relationship with an ex but after the length of time it seems a bit odd....
have you asked for deeper explanation of his feelings on this subject... it is topics like this that i think counseling might work...
I have asked but he just can’t or won’t articulate what’s the real reasoning. Also refuses counseling. I’m just stuck not knowing where to go with it…
@Trexmama
I am sorry you are dealing with this .. it is hard when a person can't or simply won't articulate their thoughts/ feelings on a subject. this often leads to guessing or trying various things to appease and leads to stress for both of you.
I think men especially refuse therapy of any kind as it may lead to deeper insecurities that are behind thoughts or actions.
I agree: he has had a lot of trauma early on in life, including his mother dying when he was 6. I think it leads to his emotional responses but won’t deal with it…