It felt like it was meant to be

Hi community,

My lover and I split up a week ago and I feel devastated. The only way I know how to grieve is to cry and talk to friends and cry some more.

It really felt to me like we were "meant to be". Such a connection was really rare and special for both of us, and it is really hard to let go of such a special someone. I don't meet people like him every day, at all. I hadn't loved this way in 4 years.

We were only together for 4 months, and from the beginning - and even before meeting me - he wasn't looking for a relationship, but it happened anyway. For 4 months he kept saying he couldn't really say yes to a relationship with me because at this time in his life he needs to be alone. He is currently starting his life again in a new place, looking for a new job..

We were long distance and he wanted to start this new chapter of his life on a blank page, without a relationship in another country. He kept saying how he needed to be alone and work on himself first, and how he isn't ready for a relationship and can't feel his needs when he's with someone. He also kept saying he cared about me a lot, and loved me, and thought I was great. It was just too fast and too much for him at this point. I know he really did care about me and he made a lot of efforts during our relationship. We both did our best with the mismatch in our needs. We both love each other. It is very hard to let someone go when for the first time in my life, there's nothing bothering me about my partner except that he's doesn't want to be in a relationship. Yet after 4 months of being with someone who is only half-committed, i became too anxious and sad and i initiated the breakup.

The breakup happened with a lot of love and respect. He contacted me once 4 days later, to know how I am doing and i can't bring myself to answer. I hope we will get back together someday, that once he has space in his life for someone and he feels ready, that he will come back to me.

I guess the questions I have are:

Were we the right person for each other, but at the wrong time?

How long should I wait before contacting him again? Should I answer his text?

Is my hope of us getting back together when the time is right pointless?

What helps grieving someone you love?

I would just appreciate your perspective on this story. Thanks for reading :)