It was all a lie

@helpfulSky9259

A relationship means two people. When you meet someone fantastic, you're still yourself, and they are themselves. You both come together, agree or don't agree to make it a connection, a relationship. You do not merge into one person. There are many people out there that erroneously believe that in a relationship or marriage, you become ONE, one SINGLE person. No. That is unhealthy. That is co-dependent behavior. You do not MERGE. Why?

You do not merge into one person because when that happens, you live for one another, and you put all your hopes and dreams unfairly into one person, through one relationship -- the relationship deteriorates. It falls quickly apart, because what brought you both together, what attracted you to one another, was initially your individuality. You should not lose your individuality in a relationship. A relationship continues to be two independent people who have agreed to come together for an undefined amount of time (usually).

Your pain, the anguish you're experiencing and hurt that you feel is normal. The fact that you're stating that you've pinned your every hope, dream, aspirations, and self into them is not healthy.

There is a good book on this topic. It's called, Co-Dependent No More, it may help you to see why your attachment style may have caused the break-up, potentially caused you far more hurt that you deserve or what is normal, and may help you to develop better habits in the future to prevent you from feeling this defeated or devastated in your next relationship. Also, it may point out ways in which your behaviors actually harm the relationships that you chose to get into and what are considered healthier alternatives or ways to interact with those that you care about.

I hope it helps you, and I hope you find the help that you need, even if it isn't 7 Cups.

Good Luck!