I want to move on from a toxic and emotionally abusive non-relationship
I've been dating someone for almost 9 months. He broke up with me last night because he couldn't get over the fact I didn't tell him I was talking to someone and had planned to date them. Some context, at the time we were able to see other people so I didn't cheat on him. We go through cycles of being exclusive and not. Since nothing happened between me and this other person I didn't tell him. I finally did tell him and now he says I'm a manipulative liar because he gave up a potential hookup for me. I struggled when he would open our relationship but I eventually bent because that was the only way he'd stay in my life. He would often blind side me by going on tirades and slut shaming me for who knows what reason. He always apologized because he wanted to push me away and break up with him. Like some sort of defense mechanism and I always forgave him. Anyway, this one mistake and he says he can't trust me and that's it. I pleaded with him and even listed out all the things I've forgiven him for. It just doesn't seem fair and I don't want to be the villain. I don't know what to do to move on from this non relationship and heal when I feel still so drawn to him. Help.
@Sfc1717 Sorry to here this.
I hope things get better for you, soon, my friend.
Thank you. I need to learn to disengage. I'm currently messaging him back and forth. I don't know how I can help myself.
@Sfc1717,
sounds like he might be insecure. Maybe you can tell him how his behavior makes you feel, and see if/how he responds. Nothing wrong with expressing your feelings. One might feel that expressing your true self is weak, to me it is the uttermost example of strength.
Take care.
Thank you. I tried that and he called my feelings nonsense. He is toxic masculinity and yes insecure I think. I met up with him tonight to see if this was salvageable, if anything was left, and he just talked on and on about how he felt like I took control from him and played him. There wasn't warm there. I just have to imprint it in my heart that my feelings are valid and he's the wrong person. Harder said then done but talking to him helped actually. We'll see how I feel tomorrow right.
