I want to move on with my life..
My boyfriend of nearly three years cheated on me this summer and I ended things as soon as I found out and moved back in with my parents. The betrayal and hurt was unlike anything I've ever felt. It's been seven months but I'm still having trouble feeling happy and normal.
My parents have always been extremely neglectful toward me ever since I was a child and they seem emotionally dead inside. They have never shown me any affection and show little interest in me. My ex was the only one I was ever able to open up to and the only one who showed me love. He made me feel like I was wanted and that my existence is justified.
Right before I met him, I was going through a really hard time. I've had depression nearly all of my life but was clinically diagnosed in high school along with pretty bad social anxiety. I saw multiple psychologists and was on meds for about 3-4 years. It got so bad that I dropped out of my last year of school. Once I met my ex, we moved in together very quickly because I was miserable at home. To support myself I had to start working full-time and kept putting off going back to school. After the breakup I stepped down from a management roll at work and now only work a few days a week. I find it incredibly difficult to be motivated to do any schoolwork and don't leave my house unless I absolutely have to. I see myself falling back into detrimental habits. I'm very reclusive, have started self-medicating with alcohol, have begun to self-harm once again, and have suicidal thoughts occasionally.
I feel so alone and worthless. It was already so hard for me to trust anyone, and when I finally let someone in, he just wrenched my heart out of my chest and stomped on it.
I don?t really know what to do at this point. Well, I know what I should do but I don't know how I can finally find the strength to carry on with my life.
P.S. My ex still contacts me and wants to get back together. He says he still loves me and keeps saying it was a mistake. But I just can't see him the same way. Not after what he did.
i feel as like as you, but my lover didnt try to contact me. he need me only his tough time, he is not willing to marry me. he cheated me. family too left me.
I'm really sorry this happened to you.. I've had my ex boyfriend cheat on me as well, but thats years ago now but it has definately hurt me a lot.
At the time this happened i was very confused and it felt like my whole life had been a lie, and i fell into depression, but the biggest mistake I made, was to stay with him, because he kept telling me he was sorry, and that it wasn't worth it etc. I stayed with him because I had no one else, no friends, no parents, just no one and I felt very ashamed because he had done this to me. I kept him close to me and I wanted to know every detail cause I thought it would make it easier
but staying with him made me pretty much waste two more years of my life being in a relationship with someone I couldn't love any more. I tried to find excuses to fight with him all the time because i had never forgiven him.
I don't know if this is any help, but at the time I really didn't think I was going to be okay ever again. But i can honestly say that I'm completely over that, and over him. It'll fade, even though it's so painful.
just take it easy, accept that you feel very hurt and just take your time with everything that you do, You can get over this, I promise.
I wish you the best of luck, great things will come your way again:)
