Lonely, Sad, Insecure & Low Self-Esteem, also just broke up with Husband.

Hi, I am new here, just started on December 5th, 2016. I am writing this hoping that I will get support or help not criticism or negative feedback. I hope this place and its members can help me.

I really have been struggling with Loneliness, Sadness, Extreme Insecurity & Low Self-Esteem for many years now. The sad truth is I have a really wrecked body from having mulitple children, (pregnancies and brestfeeding, weightloss) which lead me to have for the past 9 years or so: really ugly looking saggy, deflated breasts and a strethced out loose wrinkly belly. Its really embarrasing, but there I said it. I know many people can not relate to this, because this did not happen to them, but those that have had extreme weight loss or multiple children can understand. Sorry. ;) I really feel that this physical change has truly affected my life, the way I feel about myself, relate to others and the way others look at me and treat me. I have felt a major decline in self-esteem since then. I feel like everywhere I go people laugh at me, look at me with disgust, or completely ignore me. Truthfully I have not had a guy try to talk to me in so long I dont even know what it feels like anymore to feel desired or wanted by the opposite sex. I have lost interest in social activities, making friends, I isolate a lot, and now for all these years I look back, sadly, and realize I have had no actual friends (who were not family members), who are someone, female, around my age, I could talk to, relate to or share with for so many years, I dont even remember what its like to have a friend. I also have been suffering in the relationship department. I have been Married for 2 years now to someone, I met three years ago. We have been arguing and breaking up and getting back together, (which is not healty) multiple times. We recently just broke up, and I realize a major part of the problem is my insecurities, (among a few other issues). I really need to love myself and feel good about myself again, before I can love anyone else. Then I can have self-confidence again, a healthy relationship, and hopefully make friends again. I have been planning to get a mommy makeover, which is a special surgical proceedure to restore my body back to how to was, breasts and belly. I also exercise and eat healthy daily. I plan to look and feel better again one day. I just have to save my money because this is an expensive proceedure, so I cant get it yet, and I have to wait until financially I can get this, which really stinks. So this is my story. This is hard for me to put this out there like this for anyone to read. I really miss having friends to talk to and hang out with, and I miss feeling good in a love relationship. I hope I can have those things that so many people take for granted again one day soon in the future. I am very lonely now and sad. I hate my body and I can not wait until I can get this mommy makeover surgery. Many women get it, and look so much better afterwards. I am also relying on exercise to enhance the results. Sometimes, All people need is love and one good friend.