Long Distance Struggles

@inventiveCoconut8422

SInce you have been in a relationship off and on, it sounds like that you two share not so much in common or nothing to talk about at all. LDRs are a common type of relationship to cause breakups because both parties are away from each other, only have contact physically more than digitally and they began to focus on themselves but when coming together, you do not have no communication whatsoever. Since you two are currently deployed right now, it is not the right time for you two to get together. There is not a relationship anymore since he broke things off so the best thing that you can do is focus on yourself at this point.

It has been an emotional rollercoaster for you because that there is some parts of your life that has not been resolved yet. It sounds like that it is still haunting you and it was brought into your relationship. So you have a problem on top of a problem and that is not healthy. And in order for your relationship to be considered toxic, they have to be some sort of a control amongst the two of you. For example, if you are demanding each other to say something, act a certain way around each other, who to hang out with, who not to hang out with, when can you and he can talk to your friends, etc...that is a toxic relationship and since I did not hear that, it is not toxic. Maybe you are thinking that you are a toxic person. You are hurting inside and that is okay. We all have demons that we deal with on a daily basis, whether it is mentally or emotionally, we have them.

Take this advice with you: you cannot fight for someone if you are not putting enough effort to fight for yourself. I can understand that you love this guy and that you will do everything to get him back. However, why waste that kind of energy to someone that is not giving you the same kind of energy and love back? At that point, you have to think about if he is worth your time that is meant for the two of you being together. You remember that you come first and if you do not deal with the demons, trauma, and handle your emotions and take care of you, every relationship that you get into will mimick what you went through in your life when you were young. Also, think about who are you as a person. What does you mean to you? If you were to describe yourself in many adjectives, what would they be?

And do not spend your time chasing him. He is not the valuable piece of jewel here. You are He should be chasing you and if he wants to be with you that bad, he would at least call you and check up on you to make sure you are okay. That's what it means to communicate. There is no commnication and without the key benefactor in the relationship, there is no relationship to begin with.

I hope that my advice helps.

Let me know if you need any more advice!

OriginalBeauty9103