Losing Grip on Love: When Heartbreak Hits Hard
Yup, I think we all know those words... some other similar ones:
"I'm not ready for a relationship"
"I don't know who I am"
"I am too codependent on you"
I struggled with substance abuse for several years before she came into my life... Let's put it this way, if it is considered a drug, I've probably already done it.
But when she came into my life it was like light shining through my darkness. As we became closer friends, I eventually promised myself that I would clean myself up so that I could deserve to have someone like her in my life. We finally started dating after being really friends for a few years (I was pretty clean at this point). I let myself be truly vulnerable around her. She got to see me as me, not the me I let everyone else see.
After two years on top of that mountain, I feel myself slowly losing my grip on the rocks and it is a long way to the bottom. Without her, I feel myself regressing to old habits and coping techniques.
I have never felt so alone and lost. I miss her so much and I just wanna hold her in my arms again. But it hurts just to talk to her, to know that who I want is just out of reach. I can't look at any of our old pictures. These past couple months have just been horrible. I've lost weight, been next to useless at work, and had trouble sleeping. I hurt so much, but I think the thing that really hurt was the fact that I opened up to her in a way I never ever have before with anyone. And she blindsided me while I was at my most vulnerable.
Hello @ItinkweargointoneedmorepotaetohS
I'm sorry about your breakup. While I don't know what it is like to feel this way since I have never been in a relationship, please know that I am here for you <3 I am also proud of you for working through your substance abuse :D Overcoming addiction can be incredibly difficult, yet you are getting through it <3 If you need support from a listener, please don't hesitate to reach out <3
@ItinkweargointoneedmorepotaetohS
Having the courage to sober up and change in itself must be very difficult for you, and I completely salute your for overcoming a seemingly overwhelming challenge that a lot of people face. Being at your most vulnerable to the person you care so much is one of the most intimate thing a person could do to another person, and these things itself show how much potential you have into making things beautiful and good. You have a life ahead of you, and you've done so much and you deserve so much credit for yourself into doing such. Sure, she may not be there for you in the long run and she may have made you happy for a short time, I'm not the one in giving advices here and I don't know how you are able to deal with the heartache but if I were you I would've kept those happy memories and have remembered her as the woman who have given you a glimpse of what you can do when you're inspired and in love, and sorrounded with the people who are genuinely happy for you. I hope you can achieve the peace you deserve and earned, and I hope that you can still have the strength to climb the mountain and reach the peak :) .