Lost 😕

@intellectualPear6295 Hey there, friend, I see you're really stressed and hurt right now since someone you love very much has been being rude to you because of something that occurred in the relationship. So you and your boyfriend/ex have been dating for such a long time, wow.. Until now... So during the relationship you blamed him for things because of your trust issues. I think a lot of us have trust issues that way, what sort of things were you blaming him for? I have trust issues too about if people truly like me or not and I would blame and accuse my ex of paying more attention to other things than me. It's an unhealthy habit us people with trust issues can have, but I'm sure you tried to improve yourself and compromise, considering how long you two have been together. A few weeks ago he saw you texting your ex who he hates. Were you talking to the ex flirtatiously or more casual-like? I'm just trying to gauge why his emotional reaction was so strong. But regardless I'm so sorry that someone you loved ditched you this way. I don't think that the people that leave us this way understand the pain they put us through. Just because we may do something "wrong" to drive them away doesn't mean we don't want the relationship to continue. It sounds like he's considering giving you a chance he's just trying to regain himself? It could be possible that even if you two got back together things wouldn't be the same. Yes, you were texting multiple guys but I suppose it depends the way you guys were texting? My ex would allow me to talk to other women because she had trust in me that I was very loyal. I'm not sure the manner you were texting the guys, but it seems like your boyfriend also has trust issues as well. What manner were you texting your ex and the other guys? "No longer in love but still has love for you", that's probably very confusing. Love is a choice, and I don't believe that you texting men should eliminate his feeling of loving you. I'm gauging that the reason he "fell out of love" is because he felt very hurt, do you know why he felt that hurt? Do you think you would feel hurt too if you were in his shoes? I don't exactly know all the details, but do you think that his response was even warranted to be so extreme, or are you only believing that you deserve it because he thinks you do? Oh, I'm so sorry dear.. that you loved him so much and are trying to fix it. :( I know what it's like for an ex to get very upset with you about something and then you try to pick up all the broken pieces out of complete and utter desperation and hopelessness. It must feel so hopeless to be in that position of "maybe he will get back with me in the future". You say he's different and rude to you now? But why? Why was talking to guys and your ex that bad, was it flirting? I'm so sorry you're going through this. In my personal opinion, I don't think he should've left you. You guys were together for so many years and I imagine you've both stuck with each other through a lot, so for him to lose love and stop things here is selfish. So you're asking "What do I do?" Well, I think the person that knows your situation the best is you but I will give my opinion, just take it with a grain of salt. If you were texting the guys in not an obviously romantic way, and his reaction was so strong to want to cut you off, I would leave his sorry tail behind. Leaving someone so quick without compromising or considering their feelings is not the type of things that makes marriages last 80 years. As you two are separated, the longer he waits, the more you two will drift apart. If you weren't even texting the guys flirtatiously, I think he just purely has trust issues, insecurities, and wants to have control. Now, if you think you were texting them in some way that hints at flirtatiousness, even though subjective things like that are very hard to measure, you have done all you can. I'm sure you have apologized and you're trying all you can to make things right and that's the right thing for you to be doing, and basically all that you can do. You have done your part as a partner, and his part is supposed to be to decide if he wants to risk his vulnerability with you again. It's only been a few weeks, but if he takes a lot longer to decide into the future, then he probably wouldn't feel as comfortable/the same in the relationship so you might then consider if he's even worth it anymore. I don't want to advise you to throw it all away. You've been together so long and have had so many moments and I know how strong emotional bonds can be. I think it's natural and normal to stick around and wait to see what his answer will be, considering how much you love him and want him to come back into your life. I suppose that it's up to him and him alone, but know that you don't have to hold your life on pause if he takes a year, for example, to decide. I think that since it hasn't been too long since the incident, wait around and see how things go. Once again, I don't normally give my opinions here but I only am because you asked for it, so I'm assuming that it's okay. I'm sorry if this isn't helpful; I'm not very good at these questions, but I wanted to reply so that you know that you're not alone, that someone cares and will, at the least, hear you out.