My ex is giving me mixed signals, what do they mean?
We were together for 11 months and she broke up with me 9 days ago, and also 2 times in March. She said I don't make her as happy anymore and also I say hurtful things when I get upset. I know I do that, I do it just to get a reaction, and I have been trying to work on myself. I was no contact for 5 days but I gave in because I was getting nervous and scared I'd never hear from her again. I told her I had some stuff to tell her about this whole thing and she said to wait for tomorrow as she didn't want to cry because she had already had a bad day. I said okay, and as we were saying goodbye she said "you look good in that selfie you posted btw". About an hour later, she messaged me and said she couldn't sleep so just tell her and I told her I had been thinking of her a lot and dreamed of her many times and just want to talk. She said "I'm not sure, because our feeling will never fade then". I said don t you think we can just try? She asked if I could "wait a week". I said do you think our feelings will be faded by then? (obviously not). She said "no, just one week, please". She also said that school has a part for waiting a week, because it is her last week. Will talking to her possibly help us get back together? If I show her I have changed? Is it possible when her and I start talking again, for her feelings to come out and us be together again? She posted a quote on Instagram from a song about missing someone after a breakup, could that mean anything too?
@EvenInfinite
Try not to read too much into things as if you're grasping for any sense of hope that you both will be reunited. Something you said stuck out to me, "I say hurtful things when I get upset. I know I do that, I do it just to get a reaction." Have you considered what this does to someone that cares about you? Right. It pushes them away. From the way you describe it, she realizes that you don't have everything she wants in a relationship but there are key reasons why she isn't able to make a commitment with you. If your anger is part of this problem, that could be a key reason why she's keeping her distance and while she wants things to work out between the both of you she's starting to realize that it can't.
There is also a sense of co-dependent behavior I'm picking up in your post too. Women do not typically like clingy men. Now, add a sometimes clingy angry man and that spells for a recipe of her leaving. It's clear that she had her reasons for leaving the times that she did - I'd guess that there were good reasons behind those events in March. The reason why she likely hangs on a bit is likely because she wishes things were different, perhaps you were different, and that is something to consider.
Either way, you taking some time to focus on you, your anger and co-dependent issues, and learning how to be in a committed relationship with a woman would do some good. There are many great books on this subject and a qualified therapist could help you in this area too. The book "Co-Dependent No More" may help you.
If you want her back (which there really is no guarantee) but if you want to be able to have a chance at it along with perhaps a sense of a relationship with any woman - it's probably in your best interests to figure out what works and what doesn't in a committed long term relationship. My guess is that you care about her but instead you probably should care about yourself first.
So, give her the space she needs. Work on yourself. Show her some of the progress once in a while, but not every day or every other day. Pace yourself. She might come back and she might not - but what matters most is you.
I hope you get these things figured out - I really do.