My ex said he thought he replied, opinions?
Hi guys, so I just want your thoughts on this: we were texting with my ex 3 days ago and it went well... we were texting for 2 days, exchanged quite a lot og messages and he even started flirting with me and then BOOM! he ignored my message and didnt reply back. after 2 days i texted him again as i asked him for something and he replied that he thought he replied. Thats a bullshit right? maybe he has a new gf and could delete the message and really forget but if he would be serious we would remember. why is he doing that? it really hurt me as i was so excited that we were talking like that and flirting and then nothing. quiet! i wish i could forget about this guy and move on. its been over a half year and i am feeling worse than at the beginning :(
@Eliza0
Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;
Hi guys, so I just want your thoughts on this: we were texting with my ex 3 days ago and it went well... we were texting for 2 days, exchanged quite a lot og messages and he even started flirting with me and then BOOM! he ignored my message and didnt reply back. (I can see how things went really well, and you two seemed to have fun texting one another. It's very easy to get overwhelmed with excitement when you both haven't talked for a long time, but its important to make him work for your time. The pattern of texting for 2 days might push him away) after 2 days i texted him again as i asked him for something (I can tell the number one reason you sent this text was because of anxiety. The separation anxiety began to kick in, so it lead you to text him after he ignored the text) and he replied that he thought he replied. Thats a bullshit right? (It is, he definetly didn't write a reply, but in the moment he used that excuse) maybe he has a new gf and could delete the message and really forget but if he would be serious we would remember. (Its normal to feel worried about the way he stopped replying, but its important to know that you two are back to square one, which means it will feel like you two met yesterday) why is he doing that? (I think things went way too fast, he felt the closeness and the eagerness which lead him to back away) it really hurt me as i was so excited that we were talking like that and flirting and then nothing. quiet!(Its understandable how you feel, things were going well and then he backs away. It's important to avoid the constant texting, replying too fast, or when you are putting more into the conversation than him. He needs to earn the right to talk and interact with you again. The way you were so excited is a sign it made you come on strong and as eager) i wish i could forget about this guy and move on. its been over a half year and i am feeling worse than at the beginning :( (Its normal it would feel this way. I can tell you have feelings for this guy after all this time, and the way he ignore the last can cause a lot of hurt.)
@freshLight64 thank you so so much for your amazing reply and taking the time to answer. Everything you said is true! i got overwhelmed and too excited when he started flirting with me and i went too far with flirting and suggesting to see each other and it pushed him away. i need to be a bit distant probably... still friendly though but i can't show him i am still crazy about him. he actually made this excuses before when he left me for someone else before. he always used to delete messeges but still its not because he thought he replied but because he didn't want to reply. i was extremely anxious it was like going through break up again. even now i told him yesterday i will contact him next week regarding all stuff i need from him and i already miss talking to him so much! i am pretty sure he is with someone else and that he left me for her. I just want him back and don't know what to do :(
@Eliza0
i got overwhelmed and too excited when he started flirting with me and i went too far with flirting (Its okay, you are now aware of this. I have went through this as well, it can be so tough to keep the interest level normal when this a person you want. I do recommend to not have text conversation, they should be done to set dates) and suggesting to see each other and it pushed him away. (You did good in asking to meet up, but it kinda seems like he was testing the waters. I get the impression he wasn't ready to get close, but in texting it was okay for him because he was able to keep you at a distant) i need to be a bit distant probably... (Think about it this way. Lets say you recently met a guy today, would you have come on strong?. He should be treated as someone you met today, even though is quite difficult. He really needs to earn your time and effort. The mindset should be "Eh lets see whats going on, but im quite hesistant so im going to take it very slow to see if i want him) still friendly though but i can't show him i am still crazy about him. he actually made this excuses before when he left me for someone else before. (He probably told you things "I don't want a relationship right now", "I need to focus on my work and goals", "I need a break at the moment", "i dont think i love you as before". He lacks straight forward communication, and would go behind your back to meet other women...not cool) he always used to delete messeges (This is a red flag, why would he delete them if he had nothing to hide?. He lacks intengrity and honesty) but still its not because he thought he replied but because he didn't want to reply. i was extremely anxious it was like going through break up again. (Its understandable you felt this way. He left at first, you were hurt, he comesback again and then leaves...You can't let him in your life so easily after he has shown inconsistent behavior) even now i told him yesterday i will contact him next week regarding all stuff i need from him (You sent this text feeling anxious, making sure you two would contact again) and i already miss talking to him so much! i am pretty sure he is with someone else and that he left me for her. I just want him back and don't know what to do :( (Think real hard about what are; Your boundaries, beliefs, hobbies, and other things that makes you who you are. I honestly feel he is not a person to have a healthy relationship with, theres various red flags i pointed out. He would have to really prove to you that he would stick around and act like an adult, its no where you will do anything to get him back)