My past

I lost my virginity at the age of 16 to the wrong guy ! me and him were together for 1 and a half years , ill start from when he moved down to "be with me " he made me have sex with him even when I told him I didn't like it and it hurt .. he went on to making me get in to drugs and alcohol , he made me tell lies and steal he pulled me away from my family because he made sure I chose him, he was in contact with me this year with an apology that was also another lie , seemed to know everything I was doing where I had been living all of it any ways he ended up one day just walking out of my life left me with debts and a house that was trashed to sort out I was so broken he went on to telling everyone I always smashed him up and trashed my name all over social media. early this year after my break up when I was with this guy for nearly 3 years (different from first boyfriend ) I come to the terms of death and I was no longer afraid to die I have scars all over my legs that are going to be there forever and I was so close to hanging my self I had it all planed out ! but yet im still here its a daily struggle to keep my confidence high one little judgement can set me straight back to step one again