Need help moving on or dealing with break up depression
Never know my life will come until this low to be needing a counselling community but I just don’t know how to get through with this . I have known my ex girlfriend since age 7 (2008 ), but we only officially gotten together at the age of 17 (2018) . Last February , we gotten into a heated argument about something stupid which I feel wasn’t even my fault to begin with . So during the argument , she said some things that really hurt me for example , I hate how stupid and clown your mentality is . Of course I got upset and I told her that even-tough we’re in an argument , you shouldn’t have lash those harsh words on me . Instead of stopping and apologise , she made me feel even worse by saying even hurtful things towards me . At the end of it , we have decided to have a pause in the relationship and talk once we have calm down . At that time my country was having a lock down and I’m far away from her , so I told her that to have a pause until I am able to come visit , which should be 2 weeks from then . But after 1 week of the pause , she decided to end things with me . At that time I was abit upset but more fed up and angry of the fights and angry things she say towards me so I just agreed to the break up . Starting March 2021 until Mid of May , I’ve been having a hard time moving on from her but I try my best to keep myself occupied so that I don’t think about it . On the 29 May , our country went into full lock down again so now I’m stuck at home and have nothing to keep myself occupied . I’ve been thinking a lot lately and it has severely affected my mood to study , do anything even waking up to brush teeth and cleaning up myself . My ex mom did check in on me from time to time as she treated me like I’m her son , her mom told me that she’s also recovering from the break up and plans to like talk to me on end of August after her sem has finished . I’ve been sleeping very late some days around 6am and been waking up at around 9am . Reason I sleep so late is because I wanna make sure that I’m really fully drained tired , so that when I lay down in bed , I’ll straight fall asleep and not let my mind wonder off to the memories with her . But lately I’ve been waken up by dreams of her or memories of us together , and everytime I wake up , my heart is always ponding and the rest of my day is ruined and I can’t fall back to sleep . I still love her alot and I regret of letting her go out from my life . I asked her few days ago that is there a chance for us to be back together , she said she’s not looking to be in any relationship atm and focusing on her studies . Some days , part of me just want to move on and part of me keeps telling myself maybe she will come around . So I’m not sure what should I do and it has seriously drained me mentally and physically . I would appreciate any words of encouragement , any tricks to move on or just anything in general to help me cope with this break up . Thanks everyone sorry for the long story
Hey there, Sorry you’re going through that, it is rough especially when hurtful things are said...coming from the person you love, those words can really be painful and leave a mark for a long time. I’ve lost my first love 7 months ago and I’m still dealing with the repercussions of that loss. I’ve never felt that sort of pain before, I’ve never felt so lonely or sad, and I just didn’t know how to cope with that on my own...Of course Each relationship/feeling is very personal, but in my case when I was at the lowest it helped a lot just to have a close one (friend/relative) to talk to and share how you feel even if it’s hard. And in the moments where I felt the lowest and so lonely I trued to push myself just to do something that gives me pleasure and to a certain degree changes my mind off of my thoughts just for a bit (video games, watching my favorite show, playing with my dog...). I’m no expert in relationships and even less in breakups but just know that time will help and you will get through that!
I’m so sorry that happened. Break ups are never easy especially when you evidently love your ex. I understand how hurtful it is to hear such things from someone you love. Tbh, I think it’ll be best for you to focus on yourself and move on. Your ex ended things when you were in a “pause” and also told you she isn’t looking for any relationship at the moment. I think it’s unlikely her mind is going to change as sad as that sounds. There’s no guarantee she will want to rekindle things with you so as difficult as it is, I think it’s best to move forward. I wish you all the best.
